Poop Shute

We've all been there.

A long day. Not a bad day, but just a long one. It's getting a little late. You feel the eyelids starting to get a little droopy, so you curl up in bed. You're just starting to drift off to sleep...

TWEET -- TWEETLEY -- TWEET TWEET etc

That's right, some stupid %$#@ bird starts having his own little fiesta in a tree right outside your window. We humans have succeeded in staving off the darkness of night for our own purposes, we have extended the length of the day to unnatural proportions, thereby increasing the window for productivity and improving the quality of life for many.

And by extension we've succeeded in confusing birds the world over.

Birds are dumb. You throw a blanket over their cage and they'll go right to sleep, thinking night has fallen. On the flipside, sometimes a streetlight will have a bird convinced that it's the longest godd@mn day of the year and apparently that must be cause for a whistling godd@mn celebration in a bird's mind.

It's a little sad too, because this moron keeps calling out, and waiting for a response that never comes, because all the other birds are ASLEEP! It's like listening to only Sonny's bits from I Got You Babe. I just want to yell out "Good god, man! Cher is sleeping, and so should you be!"

I'm not feeling very much like Dickon tonight.

Grumble grumble

COMMENTS:

You should see Failure to Launch. You'd relate. Also, it's REALLY funny.
jess elliot 03.27.06 - 9:09 pm

I have this family of birds that seem to be waking up around 1:30am outside my window. Considering it's spring time I think the baby chicks just love to talk no matter the hour.
But it doesn't bother me, I rather enjoy the sound.
Brian Y. 03.28.06 - 3:48 am

I normally do enjoy the sounds of chirping birds, but I don't enjoy ANY sounds at all when I'm trying to sleep.
I'm not as light a sleeper as I was when I was younger, but I have a new problem now. As a kid I would wake up easily, but fall back to sleep fairly easily too. Since the accident it seems if I get woken up prematurely I never quite get back to a decent level of sleep. After that it's all fitful and tossy-turny. Stupid bird.
Joey 03.28.06 - 4:26 am