Poop Shute

Part IV

...Then a VERY drunk and tired Noel wrote...

The witch carelessly lunged at Princess Noel and dragged her down into
a mud pit. The two of them wrestled and clawed at each other in the
mud. Now Noel, had cleverly thought ahead and created a Plan B in case
something should go a little wonky, as was presently the case. Having
been locked in a tower, high up in the air, she had befriended many
creatures of the sky.

(OOKAY! Sooo, when I started writing this thingy I was bout to go to
this one wedding reception BUT! I had to stop writing to go, obviously,
cuz its rood to write on your laptop at a wedding reception, cuz they
think you're being all antisocial and bleh, just so you know. AAAnyhoo,
now I am back at the hotel room rather drunk and completely exhausted
from dancing all night long and boogying and such...lots of fun was
had...yeah. So, OFF WITH HER HEAD! Or on with the story, whatever floats
your buoy. Just know that I'm not quite of my right mind, though I
guess I never really am so what IS my right mind? Holy shit, I just
keep rambling. Ok, best be rambling about me being a princess and all
and fighting some stupid witch instead of all of this bullshit and I'm
doing it again. Ok. Done. Really.) (MOOO!) ::giggles::

So this Princess Noel chick (::sings:: her name is my name too!) is has
been locke ed up in this high tower and all and makes friends with all
the winged things that happen to pass by on their way to bowling
or…whatever. Thinking that she might need a backup plan in case the
witch figured out she was going to escape, which she probably would,
because this Witchy Wench Woman of Ohio was no dummy, she began to ask
these winged friends for help (she can talk to aminals. Its really
cool.) One of them seemed to recognize her but she had no idea who she
was though she felt a strong pull between their auras. Anyhoo, this
smoldering lady agreed to hang around near the castle just in case
anything should go wrong. YAAAY help! Right, so she also befriends a
very curious and large winged bird (? No, that's not it. Hmmm,
something strange about that guy. ::shrug:: He's going to help me, who
cares?) that agrees to bring some sort of help that will emerge when
the Princess Noel whistles. (You know, like that really loud whistle
where ppl stick their fingers in their mouth and blow really hard and
noise comes out? I can never figure out how to do that...good thing she
knows how.) Hence, plan C was created. Which brings us to where we are
now.

(Pause the story, I'm hungry.)
(OK, I'm feeling a little less out of whack now so the story should
resume somewhat normally... hopefully.)

Princess Noel looks to the sky to see if her winged friend had kept
her promise and had stuck around to make sure Noel's escape plan went
as planned (what?!). To her dismay she found no such savior and
returned to the battle at hand with the Witch. She was about to resort
to plan C and blow the loud whistle thingy for whatever reinforcements
the griffin had promised her would come when a wave of heat struck and
made both competitors look to the sky to see from whence it came. The
Wicked Witch of Ohio's was more than surprised to see a fierce and
fiery bird swooping down from the sky carrying some great force with
her. The Witch could not figure out what this mysterious force was but
thought little of it because of the task at hand. She noticed Princess
Noel off guard and staring at the sky, entranced by this gracefully
burning comet, and took the opportunity to attack. At that moment the
Princess's head flew back and white light shot out of her mouth and
eyes, sending beams into the sky. At the point the Wicked Witch of Ohio
had nearly shit her pants having never seen anything of this nature
occur before in her life, which was saying something for she was 183
(and surprisingly still looked quite good for her age) and had seen
many strange and magical things.
The lights went out and Princess Noel fell to her hands and knees
panting. The Phoenix had vanished and the Witch was feeling a bit more
self assured by the fact that Noel was literally sizzling, steam rising
off of her body, and looked like she had been pretty badly bruised and
scraped up in their cat fight in the mud. At that moment the Wicked
Witch of Ohio thought she should finish the Princess off before
anything else extraordinary had a chance to happen and leapt onto the
Princess' back. She yowled and hissed and drew back as fast as she
could get away. Wondering what the hell had just happened, she went
over and poked Noel, finding the spot where she touched explode into
flame for a few seconds. She jerked her finger away and put it into her
mouth (despite the dirt) to quell the burning and wondered what the
hell she was supposed to do now.
The Wicked Witch of Ohio heard the shouts of her guards coming down
the steps to her rescue. Since she was about finished dealing with this
unusual Princess, she thought she'd let the guards handle it, since
they had metal armor and furs and such to protect themselves with.
Princess Noel had gained a little bit of her strength back by now and
shakily stood up. She saw the mob of guards running toward her and fear
shot through her. She frantically tried to remember what the signal was
for the promised reinforcements (the strange intervention seemed to
have effected her memory), but could not remember. She glanced over at
the Wicked Witch, who, at this point, was looking disgruntled, annoyed,
perplexed, and smug (about the reinforcements and Noel’s lack of
ability to escape the stampeding horde) and Princess Noel stuck out her
tongue at the Witch, turned around and, with her last ounce of
strength, began to run away.
Noel knew that she could not run for much longer and there was no way
she could fight off thirty guards. She was beginning to despair and
lose hope when something clicked inside her head and she remembered the
signal. She did the loud whistle thingy and out of the nearby forest
leapt a Rent-A-Dragon (much like the one in Revenge of the Sith, only
with wings.) It ran directly at Princess Noel, the Wicked Witch of
Ohio, and the mob, and Noel suddenly wondered if this ginormous lizard
was actually coming to rescue her or it was just fucking hungry. She
decided to stake it out, since there wasn't much else she could do,
seeing as she was running out of strength and the only other direction
in which to run had a Witch and a Horde of angry minions waiting for
her. So the dragon ran faster and faster and grew larger and larger,
until it was close enough to hit with an egg, and the dragon's head
lowered to the Princess and the yellow eyes, cracked with purple slits
and one long black line down the center, stared at her, and Noel just
stood there and stared back. And then it snapped her up in it's mouth,
turned tail and flew off.
The witch had no clue what to make of this and so decided to call it a
day and go home.

To be continued...