Poop Shute

The Move

I have moved.

Tonight we finished the last of it. I've always hated moving, and oddly enough I do it more often than anyone I know.

It's this sort of depressing inventory-of-self process.

You know, like: Is all this shit, really me? Does this all make up a part of who I am?

More importantly, do I really need any of this?

It's a painful reminder of the main theme of Fight Club.

I'll probably butcher the line, but here's a paraphrase:

"You are not the clothes you wear, you are not the car you drive, you are not the food you eat; you're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world."

After we finished the last little load of our stuff Meg had a craving for pizza, so we stopped and got a couple frozen pies at Albertson's.

Before I tell you how much pizza I ate, let me take this opportunity for a Tangential Moment.

Tangent

For the past four weeks I've started this new workout/meal plan.

The meal plan gives you a bunch of specific meals, but it also gives you general nutrition numbers in case you want to improvise. Roughly, they suggest the following per day:

2000 - 2400 calories
200 - 250 g protein
150 - 250 g carbs

For the most part I've been doing pretty well.

Today was the exception. This concludes this Tangential Moment.

In addition to eating normal meals all day long today I concluded my long-ass day of moving with an entire large deep-dish pizza.

I found, after reviewing the Nutrition Facts on the box, that I consumed the following IN ONE SITTING.

1800 calories
90 g protein
240 g carbs

I repeat, that was in one sitting. Please, take a moment to note how very close this one meal comes to fulfilling my daily needs.

I'm sure I don't need to tell you that I am very painfully bloated right now. It's like at any moment the dancing alien from Space Balls will leap out of my abdomen and sing a rousing broadway show-tune while I can only look on as I slowly and painfully die.

But, I am confident that I will burn it all.

Today, for example. I ran up and down stairs many many times while dead-lifting furniture and boxes for the better part of eleven hours today.

I'm sure my body needed it, or else I wouldn't have swallowed the thing whole like I did.

Anyway, blah blah blah and all that yackity schmakity.