Poop Shute

IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE!

Anyone who has ever tried my salsa will know that every time I make it I tweak something. Each batch is a learning experience. Each batch is just a little better than the one that preceded it. Each batch is one step closer to the ultimate in wannabe-spanish perfection. Each one is like my own little edible child that I bring to life and nurture with my own hands... and eat on Tostitos Chips. Mmmm.

After my last batch I realized that I had yet to acheive one major goal: I had never made a salsa that was too hot for even me to eat. I had made some pretty hot ones, but I had also made batches that even Brian could eat, much to my chagrin. It's not that I don't want Brian eating my salsa or anything, but Brian is kinda of the lowest of lowered bars when it comes to spicy foods. For the rest of his life he will be ceaselessly teased for breaking a sweat while eating a Freschetta FOUR CHEESE pizza. He said the sauce was a little too zesty. His exact words, I think. So, if he could merrily wolf down my salsa, then I'm doing something wrong.

So, I recently came up with a radical new idea. Well, radical for my recipe, anyway. See, I've known for quite some time that most of the capsaicin is in the guts of the pepper, and in the seeds. I always use the guts, but remove the seeds. I have this paranoid fear that getting a whole habanero seed in your mouth would be beyond painful. SO, to solve the problem, I got myself a mortar and pestle and for tonight's batch I ground the seeds into a course paste and stirred that into the rest of the salsa ingredients.

Now, my friends, don't misunderstand. This salsa is NOT too hot for me. It is most definitely VERY hot, but I enjoy it a great deal. I take great joy in knowing that I am on the right track, though. Brian, if you're reading, this shit would make you cry like a wee girl.

Sweet.