Poop Shute

Back in Black

Went to a theme party last night. A Goth themed party. At first I was very reluctant to go, but thankfully Ryan could see that I was grumpy and would have just stayed in and been bored all night. So I went. I made both our costumes too. That was the fun part.

God, I wish I could've gotten pictures. I wanted to stop and get a disposable camera, but forgot. My costume consisted of making my hair a huge anime-worthy mass of spikes, a black wife-beater shirt, black slacks and black boots. The devil is in the details though. I wore black eye-liner to give me that creepy Robert Smith look, black lipstick, (because goddamn does that look cool with the outfit) and a couple of choker necklaces. Next I took a pair of Meg's red fishnets (with her consent, of course) and cut them up to make these badass fingerless fishnet gloves. I gave one to Ryan and I took one. Then I took a pair of opera length gloves I bought for halloween last year, and cut of the pinky and index finger to make some weird gloves (also gave one to Ryan). So I got one red fishnet sleeve, and one black sleeve, and my tat peeking out the back of the wife-beater. Add my bondage bracelets, about five rings, and a long wallet chain and I looked pretty fucking badass. Ryan's was topped off with a long, wide black skirt of Meg's. I kinda wish I could've fit in the skirt, but no biggie. We looked pretty damn cool together.

At this party I got hit on by a couple of... well, let's just be nice and say they weren't chicks you'd see in a beer commercial. Anyway, besides those girls this very flaming guy named Rod was chatting me up. He'd come and go, but he always found a reason to return to talk to me. The very last time he did so, I was sitting on a couch while he was doing a very sexual dance with some of the drunk girls. He flopped down next to me, leaned in and surprised me by just blurting out a question that I get asked all too often.

He prefaced with "Look, I don't want to offend you, or anything, but..."

I saw the rest of the sentence a mile off. I told him I wasn't offended at all, but that I'm happily straight. His shoulders sagged briefly in disappointment, but he was drunk and having fun, so he shook it off pretty quickly. Then he merrily announced to me "Well, I'm gay."

I chuckled a little, and said "I could tell."

He looked startled for a second and asked how I knew.

Now it was my turn to preface. "Well, I don't mean to offend you, but..." I'm sure he saw the rest coming a mile off, but I was obliged to finish what I started. "Well, uh... you kinda... I don't know... give off that vibe, I guess."

Again, he looked startled momentarily. I thought, 'oh shit, I have offended him'. But then he recovered, just as he had before. He literally shrugged it off, and asked "I do, huh? A gay 'vibe.' Interesting." And then he resumed grinding with the nearest female, as if he had never been talking to me at all, just sort of taking a break from the floor.

Fun night and fun people. And, now children, next time you're out partying, just remember the moral of this story is if you're a straight boy all the unattractive girls will hit on you, and if you're a gay boy all the attractive boys are straight.