One year ago today is when I first gave in to my fear. It's when I first started to screw things up.
One year ago today I broke her heart. And that was only the first time.
Today is my turn. All day long I relived last year's Christmas, and I have been carrying a lead weight around in my belly. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could do it again and give her my all right from the start. But I can't take any of it back, and today I am struggling to live with that.
Last year I ruined her Christmas, and as a result this year I've ruined mine.
If you're reading this Kim, my mom loved the beads you got her. You left them with me, so I gave them to her. She says thank you and that she misses you.
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