At seven pm, last night I was HERE.

As of four pm, today (Arizona time) I am HERE.

Almost twenty-one hours of straight drive time. I say almost because late last night we had been getting phone updates on The Suns/ Clippers game, and when we read the text messages saying "DOUBLE OVER TIME!" we pulled off immediately in HOLBROOK, AZ to watch the end of the game in a hole-in-the-wall sports bar. I haven't paid attention to basketball in years, but The Suns have been fun to watch this post season.

Anyway. Almost there. Almost to my temporary home away from home. I'm stinky, I'm hungry, I'm exhausted. I'm also at a Red Roof Inn and paying ten bucks to post this right now. Boo.

The guy I'm driving with introduced me to this indcredible musical called The Last Five Years. It's a two-person show about a young relationship that goes south after about five years time. We watch Jamie and Kathy fall in love and fall apart. The story unfolds as they take turns singing solo after beautiful solo.

The really intriguing part is the top of the show, and Kathy's first number, takes place at the end of the five years when she is mourning the loss of the relationship, and Jamie's first number is at the beginning when he was full of electricity for the woman he had just met. We watch one of them move forward through time as the other moves backward. As they take turns, Kathy's songs slowly grow happier and more optimistic, while Jamie's get darker until he reaches the end of his rope. Their temporal paths cross in the middle of the show where they sing the one and only duet. Here Jamie proposes and they marry. I listened to the entire soundtrack and can't wait to see it on stage someday.

There are so many levels to the sybolism of the time-shifting that I can't even begin to scratch the surface. I'm also too retarded with exhaustion to even try. You get the idea.

My day "today" started at ten am on Tuesday, and it's now five pm Wednesday. I've had only scattered sporadic naps in the car overnight. I'm delirious, but I'm wide godd@mn awake. Ah, TV, the true opiate of the masses.

This may be my last post for three weeks. Maybe one more chance when we stop to visit Buckle's (my ride) family. Dunno. Wish me well til then.

Today I leave for parts unknown.

Parts unknown to me anyway. I'm going to miss an entire summer of hanging out with my friends, drunken debauchery, and just plain doing nothing. Three and a half months being completely removed from anyone and everyone that I know and love. I'm very sad about that.

I will try to update here as often as I can, but I can almost guarantee that I won't be able to get to an internet connection for about the next three weeks. Nineteen days straight of fourteen hour days. The closer I get to that aspect of this the more and more angry I get.

Goddamn it. Why the fvck did I take this stupid gig?

COMMENTS:

To pretend to be an Indian?
Hagler 05.16.06 - 10:09 pm

Who said anything about pretend?
Josh Crohn 05.16.06 - 10:52 pm

one wonders why joey would agree to leave for parts unknown, leaving the wife and kids behind. sounds pretty stupid if anyone asks me, which their not but that's besides the point
mulk 05.17.06 - 5:34 pm

Stupid? Really? This from the man who constantly gives me shit on this very blog about letting my career stall out.
Also, when I'm already having doubts about a choice that I am contractually locked into, and can't really back out of without doing damage to my reputation, encouragement would have been really nice.

What a dick thing to say.
Joey 05.17.06 - 7:24 pm

Who's this mulk figure anyway?
Hagler 05.18.06 - 12:14 am

It's surprising that you'd gotten so far with an intact perception of summer vacation being mostly vacation. This summer will be the first one for me since 1997 where I won't have a full-time, paying job almost the entire time. This summer I'm teaching summer school and preparing for the qualifying exam, and in 1997 I took summer school at ASU, so I haven't had a summer mostly off since 1996.
Edward Carter 05.18.06 - 1:21 pm

It's been since '98 for me.
Josh Crohn 05.18.06 - 3:03 pm

since when did mr moore not appreciate sarcastic satire on his blog? it was a dick thing to say if it wasn't poking fun. you were obviously venting in this post. With all of my rooting and enrouagement for you to focus more on your career especially when you've had the loving support of meg for the past x years I thought it amusing that you were bitching about leaving your comfort zone. Something you know that you need to do to gain ground.
mulk "d*ck face" 05.18.06 - 4:59 pm

you are "sacrificing" for you art now so you can have that 8 foot frog in your big front hall in your big mansion when you're a big star.
Anonymous 05.25.06 - 12:17 am

I agree with Hagler. Who is mulk?
mom 05.25.06 - 12:18 am

I'm sorry mulk. I was feeling very vulnerable and alone and we all know it is impossible to read sarcasm into text.
Mulk is a friend people. That's all you need to know.
What is this 8 foot frog, Mr Anon?
Joey 06.02.06 - 5:04 pm

Meg drives us home from the bar

Meg: Oh! I should go, I have a green arrow.

Drunk Joey: Yes. Yes, you do... have a Green Arrow... boy, what a sh*tty super hero he was.

Meg: Green Arrow?

Drunk Joey: Oh yeah.

Meg: What was his super power?

Drunk Joey: He shot arrows... really... really well.

COMMENTS:

Joey,
You'll be happy to know that I've consulted my DC Comics Encyclopedia (not kidding) and it would seem you've underrepresented our friend the Green Arrow.
There have actually been two Green Arrows: Oliver Jonas Queen (1) and Connor Hawke (II)
"[Oliver Queen] has an excellent eye for archery, [and is a] trained hand-to-hand combatant with above average strength and endurance."
But get this: Connor Hawke doesn't just shoot arrows and have above average strength, he's actually "one of the top five martial artists on earth."
Betcha didn't know that.
IN YOUR FACE.
Josh
Hagler 05.14.06 - 4:03 pm

Oh snap!
Josh Crohn 05.14.06 - 4:44 pm

HAHA. You kooky bastard, I was drunk and thought that this was funny at the time. The dialogue was spoken, and even later transcribed while under the influence. It was a B.U.I. Blogging Under the Influence.
Besides that, when I said "shitty" superhero, what I really meant to say was uninteresting superhero. MAN, was that book boring.
Joey 05.15.06 - 1:37 am

I love how Meg gets right to the heart of the matter.
Edward Carter 05.15.06 - 10:08 am

I only like asian archers, yes I'm a bogot and I don't care.
mulk 05.15.06 - 3:03 pm

wait I'm a lying, lyer, pants on fire. I enjoyed robin hood when he was a fox.
mulk 05.15.06 - 3:04 pm

You know who else was as COOL as Green Arrow? Hawkeye. He was a Marvel character who also shot arrows really well. And then Rob Liefeld went over to Image and created Shaft (not kidding) who also, get this, shot arrows really well. He also had wonderfully symmetrical curls draped heroically over his forehead and once killed a bad guy with a fountain pen by throwing the pointy end up to the second floor of the mall and hitting the guy in the chest.
I think this all explains why I can't ever remember anything important.
Hagler 05.16.06 - 10:08 pm

MOTORCYCLE DIARIES

I watched the above flick tonight. It was interesting. We get a portrait of what the young
bright-eyed, pre-obstinant-and-cold-blooded-idealogue Che Guevara might have
been like. I'll actually bet that it is a fairly accurate portayal too. We see that he was fiercely loyal and loving, honest to a fault, extremely charismatic, and deeply passionate. The movie is fun and made me want to do exactly what they did; just say fvck-all and drive all over the damn place on a motorcycle without any money or security at all. It sounds scary, but fun as all hell.

But would someone please explain to me the hero-worship of this guy? Yes, he was an idealist. Yes, he was a revolutionary. Yes, his motivations were good... initially. BUT from what I read he was so bull-headed that after the success of the cuban revolution he pushed so hard for pure communism so fast that he single-handedly nearly collapsed the economy completely. He succeeded in quickly alienating himself from Fidel and his cronies with his inflexibilty (not to mention the big boys in the USSR) and they basically kicked him out.

WIKIPEDIA talks in very nice phrases about that period. Very generously they say that he "left" cuba. Right, he helped start a war, set up a new government and then thought it was time to mosey on. Sure. Truth is it turned out he was good with guerilla warfare, but he had no aptitude for governing, and was too stubborn to compromise. After he "left" he then went on to latch himself onto fledgeling revolutions in other South American locales, and even one in Africa. All failed to become communist regimes in the end. One such attempt got him caught and executed by a CIA-backed operation. The movie calls it murder. Pardon me if I don't shed a tear for the man. In war time he tended to execute prisoners out of hand himself, so let's call it karma and leave it be.

I've written about this before here, this movie just kicked up the dust.

Anyway, as a movie existing in a vaccuum, I liked it. Taking it for what it was, it was good. You have likable characters undertaking a challenging and interesting journey that is full of good dialogue and fun twists and turns as they haphazardly make their way across South America. BUT knowing what I know about the figure that the endearingly passionate young man will become, and that people will sing his praises for generations, it leave a bad taste in my mouth. It feels kind of propagandish.

Coined a new word there. Propagandish. Watch, some people will attribute that to Che too.

2.5 out of 5 Poops

COMMENTS:

Yeah, Joey and I more or less agree on this one. But Joey gives me no sidekick credit or love. And I need some love here. On Joey's blog. I need love on Joey's blog.
Josh
Hagler 05.12.06 - 10:37 pm

Haha. Nothin but love
And who's to say I'm not the sidekick? This movie was viewed, afterall, on your recommendation. :-)
Joey 05.12.06 - 11:02 pm

Wine tasting

While visiting the newly-wed Crohns this weekend they took us to this amazing little wine and cheese shop within a short walk from their house. It's called Gouda and Vines and it was really very cool.

The guy running the tasting explained to us that we'd be tasting Pinot Noirs and the reason he chose that particular varietal is because of the insane popularity that these wines have experienced since they were heavily featured in the movie Sideways. On the flipside of that, the movie seems to also have provoked a sharp decline in the sale of Merlots. A line in the movie goes "I'm NOT drinking any fvcking Merlot!" Since that tasting I have done some reading about wines on my own, and there is nothing wrong with Merlot. It's widely considered to be one of the easiest reds to drink, and many Merlots are made in a style that is popular with "new" wine drinkers, so that is why some wine snobs will look down on it. BUT my reading also yielded that a good Merlot paired with the right food is a treat for even a wine veteren. But people avoid it because a movie said so. Hilarious.

The tasting was a lot of fun because he would tell us the conventional knowledge for each of the brands that we tried, and then we'd all compare our opinions about what each of tasted and smelled. We found that some of us were more sensitive to certain aspects of wine than others.

The Poppy, for example, was too strong for me. Too sharp is the word I kept using. This surprised the wine guy. Then the next wine, The Marlowe was much easier on my palet, whereas everyone else said it was a bolder, fuller flavor. Again, the wine guy was surprised by my reaction. I explained that it was softer on my mouth, for lack of a better word. It tasted more like wine and less like alcohal than The Poppy, and sure enough the Poppy was higher in alcohal content. The wine guy smiled and nodded, explaining I'm more sesitive to the alcohal taste. Everybody else liked the Marlowe more as well, but for different reasons. They all felt The Poppy was a weaker, softer flavor. I saw The Marlowe as lighter and softer, because I could actually taste the flavor instead of just alcohal burn.

Then there was The Campion. Mmmmm. It was a large flavor, very full, but at the same time smooth and soft and had a flavor that had a hint of a black cherry. Everyone agreed that this was the best of the first three. After this one, we went back and tasted the Marlowe and Poppy again and they tasted like water by comparison.

The final label was Alma Rosa. Blech. We all agreed that this wine had the biggest flavor of all four, but some of us liked it more than others. I had heard the word spicy used to describe wine before, but I had never had one. Spicy isn't a completely accurate word to describe the sensation of this wine, but it's as close as you can get. I like spicy foods, but spicy wine is not my scene. Meg loved it, so she finished mine too.

We brought home a bottle of The Campion and a really nice bottle of imported Sake. We spent WAY too much money, but my birthday cash from my parents covered a big chunk of it.

I can't wait to learn more about wines. It's such an interesting world.

COMMENTS:

joey,
the privacy smashing power of the internet grows with each passing day i.e myspace.I would like to be able to speak/share without a simple/accidental internet search leading to my i.d. and consequently prevent me from getting a job/promotion or custody of my beloved daughter in the future.
Prime Numbers is (e)volving. On that note, a fellow blogger was recently placed on the governments watch list as a dangerous person without due process thanks to the patriot act and is now being treated like a felon in his home state simply because of posts on his website. this has resulted in some deep obstacles providng for his family.
Pleae feel free to unlink me if my new directions is not your cup of tea, I will not be insulted.
I will be looking into what causes the pop up.....
like the hulk but smaller and brown, {m}
mulk 05.09.06 - 6:00 pm

Fair enough, but in future I would appreciate it if you responded in the comment thread that the response is relevant to. I check the comments for the last three or four posts almost every day.
Joey 05.09.06 - 9:43 pm

was that not you inquiring mr. moore?
mulk 05.10.06 - 12:26 pm

p.s. winespeak - "varietal" is an adjective often used incorrectly as a noun, and refers to a wine made from a certain type of grape such as a merlot or a chardonnay - for example, "a verietal wine"
mulk 05.10.06 - 1:04 pm

Well, Mulk, the great thing about language is that it's dynamic. Popular usage actually changes things. The dictionary might list "varietal" as an adjective, and maybe it used to only be used as such but in my own readings on several wine websites I constantly see varietal used as a noun, and I see it used that way by vintners and professional wine reviewers, so I think it's fine.
Joey 05.10.06 - 1:51 pm

Oh, and using it in this way is just basically shorthand for the way you mention anyway. Saying Pinot Noir is a varietal is just a shortcut for saying it's a varietal wine.
Joey 05.10.06 - 1:54 pm

Thank You Joey for being part of the problem instead of the solution. I expected better from you, forgive me.
mulk 05.10.06 - 6:07 pm

I hope you're kidding, but I can never tell with you, you wily devil. :-)
Just to cover both bases, here are two replies for you.
1) HAHA! You crack me up, mulk.
2) If you are referring to my comment about popular usage, then you're only going to get more and more angry the older you get. You should just move to the mountains and live in a cave alone where language will never pester you again. It will save you some bother.
ALL LANGUAGES CHANGE ALL THE TIME.
The MLA rules change every damn year. Ending a sentence with a preposition is no longer a big no no, and neither is saying "Me and mulk" instead of "Mulk and I."
Ask France, they know what I mean. They tried to ban the use of slang in any printed medium to avoid the evolution of their native tongue. It didn't work.
And anyway, all this stuff is besides the point. Like I said, this example isn't even really a change, it's just a shorthand. Saying "a varietal" instead of "a varietal wine" is like saying "a stealth" instead of "a stealth bomber."
Nothin' but love fo' ya, mulk.
Joey 05.11.06 - 4:07 am

To The Journals!

I'm currently packing up stuff to move it to Meg's parents' house. While I'm gone this summer Meg will be staying there along with most of our belongings.

In my packing I came across some journals from younger days. Yes, from that time long ago when the phrase Y2K was on everybody's lips. A time when at any given moment there was somebody somewhere on this planet that had Hit Me Baby One More Time or Livin La Vida Loca stuck in their head. I am speaking, of course, of 1999-2000.

As I skimmed through one journal in particular I rediscovered a fondness for copying down quotes that were interesting and/or funny. Here's a few:

"Do not run away; let go. Do not seek, for it will come when least expected." --Bruce Lee

"Even with a paddle, Sh*t Creek is not a nice place to be."
--Bill Maher

"Never hate your enemies. It affects your judgement."
--Al Pacino in Godfather III

I also used to write these really bad poems. Probably the same crappy angsty garbage that most people write when they are in that high school/college age range. Most of it is terrible, but once in a while my younger self surprises me with something that's not so bad. Here's one:

Untitled

Past the point where it's new
and interesting
Still shy of where it gets easy
That'll be the day...

I know, it's not amazing or anything, but it's got a kind of simple rawness that most of my other young poetry lacked. I think the biggest difference between this and the rest of the poems from my younger days is that they all seemed to be trying too hard. This one seems to be unguarded, and an honest attempt to reveal something about myself instead of dressing myself up in colorful robes of language that I can hide behind.

Am I writing about love? A specific girl? Or Life in general? At this point I couldn't tell you exactly what was going through my mind when I wrote it, but I'm betting I had just been through one of those experiences that destroys an illusion or two. The fact that I answer my own thought about "easy" with "that'll be the day" tells me that I finally hit that age when one realizes nothing ever gets easy.

Disillusionment is a b*tch.

Bob

There is an online game called WORLD OF WARCRAFT. Some refer to it as WOW. I used to play WOW. A lot. I started a "guild" in this game called The Ten. A guild is just a fancy way of saying that a group of us online gaming dorks group ourselves together and our characters wear matching uniforms and help each other out in various ways.

In the game one of our big headquarters was called Orgrimmar. My character was Orzo, Bob was Zannicorus (or Big Z), Brian was Orphion, and Jesse Cornwell was called Melgan. Bob and I were Taurens (minotaurs), Brian was an Orc, and Jesse was Undead. Remember this as you read the following.

Today, Bob left this birthday greeting on my myspace comments:


"SWEET SASSY MALASSY. Its your Birthday. HUZAHH! The crowds in Orgrimmar gather together to see the birthday boy. Ohh... over there is that him? Blast! its only Orphion dressed up as a Tauren Shaman. That poser. Where is the man of the hour? Wait look... there... a Zepplin off course flying over Orgrimmar. It crashes into the Wind-rider tower and the helium explodes in a grand display of pyro-technics. Big Z says in squeaky voice (due to Helium). "What Ho! Person jump off the Zep Zep just as went Ka Boom." Orzo falls at blinding speeds as he kerangs towards the opening in front of the auction house. He cast his new spell he just got from an elite birthday dungeon. "Pumpf" a cushion of Jello appears on the ground as he hits. Splat! Orzo hits the Jello and it splatters all over everybody, including Melgan who thought he was too skinny and could dodge it. Ahh... there's nothing like rotting flesh and Jello to make a great party. All of Orgrimmar sang the traditional Birthday Song and praised Orzo for a day. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
O'Captain My Captain. May Though Have An Incredible Birthday."

Best birthday card EVER!


COMMENTS:

hey now, happy birthday
therealdavid 05.03.06 - 4:12 pm

Helium is usually non-reactive, but I'm assuming this was magical exploding helium.
Guillermo 05.04.06 - 5:20 am

Usually? Not always? Are there some exceptions that I don't know about?
Joey 05.09.06 - 9:44 pm