Poop Shute

Never again

I know, I know, everybody has said that while suffering after a wild, hedonistic binge, but I mean it. I know, people have said that too, but this "never again" is a very specific one. I will NEVER eat nine "special" brownies in one night again. It is Friday, and I still haven't fully recovered all my faculties.

Monday night my friend Gabi had a 4th of July party. For this party she took a hundred dollars worth of weed and made an enormous amount of magic brownies. It had been about two years since I had been good and stoned, so I thought "what the hell" and chowed down.

Seven brownies, and three hours later I was feeling mildly buzzed and very disappointed. It turns out that Gabi had cooked the weed with butter in a crockpot for TWO FULL DAYS. The consensus among the biggest potheads we know was that the THC quite probably got broken down chemically after so much prolonged heating. Based on how I was feeling, I was in agreement with them.

I was just about to give up hope on getting stoned when in walked a young stranger with a new tray of brownies, only this tray was the real deal. Just catching a whiff of the tray as he walked by gave me the munchies. The consensus on this one was that this guy must have just crumbled a bag a leaves and stems into a bowl of instant brownie mix. Much less elegant, but WOW did I get high.

After two of this kid's treats (bringing my grand total to nine) I was flying high. I actually don't remember much after my skin started buzzing. I remember begging Meg to take me into the bathroom to... ahem, you know. And she did. And it was good. So good. Mmmmm...

I also remember that everyody seemed to think I was the funniest f**ker on earth for a few hours. The third, and final, consensus of the evening was that my friends want to stockpile weed so that if they ever get bored they can get me high and enjoy my antics.

Sweet.