Poop Shute

Betrayed

By my own flesh and blood... I mean that literally. My body.

My mom is a very spiritual person, but some of her beliefs have actually been supported by some scientific data. A great deal of her beliefs have to do with the power of positive thinking and meditation and of the mind over the body and all that. Recent studies have shown, for example, that meditation can be instrumental in managing stress and blood pressure. Also, positive thinking (something as simple as a better attitude) is shown to have an effect on everything from blood pressure to immune response.

My mom takes it a little further though. For example, there's the story of the lady with nine malignant tumors in her torso, on various major organs who beat it back and went into full remission after her doctors stopped traditional medical treatment. Through a radical change in diet and heavy meditation she turned around what was a prognosis of only a few weeks. That was years ago and the woman is still going strong.

For my mom, that story and the many others like it prove that it's possible for any of us to overcome physical maladies with the power of the mind. She takes it one step further and suggests that if that is true, then when we get sick it is because we allowed it. The logic is if you accept that the mind can shut down disease, then it stands to reason we should be able to prevent it with the mind as well. So when we get sick, some part of us wanted to get sick. Whether it's self-sabotage, or it is a symptom of some greater emotional/psychological problem, it's our own doing. I try really hard to believe in that myself, but lately my body has made it hard.

Just a couple months ago I had a fabulous opportunity to go teach an improv workshop with a good friend of mine. She works at a private arts school and asked for my help for an afternoon. I was very excited about it, because not only did it sound like fun, but it was a great job oppportunity too. She was telling me that the principal of the school was looking for arts teachers, so I might be able to parlay my workshop into a job. I was unsure if teaching was the career choice for me, but I was curious anyway.

The morning of the workshop I woke up with a horrific sore throat and a fever so high I couldn't even stand up to go to the bathroom without clutching walls, let alone drive and then teach. I called her to explain and she was not happy. She cussed me out saying that I had "f*cked" her and that she now had to run this whole workshop thing by herself and then hung up on me. She hasn't answered my calls since.

Now, for the sake of discussion let's assume mom is right. Let's assume I allowed that to happen on some subconcious level. Why? Why would I do that to myself? What possible reason could I have had to want that? A friendship is apparently destroyed over it, and a great opportunity is lost.

The reason I am writing all this now is I woke up Saturday morning with a sore throat that has finally today gotten so bad that I am going to a doctor. Same exact symptoms that hit back on that workshop day a couple months ago. And this time I have nothing important to ruin. I'm just studying, and a sore throat doesn't get in the way of that.

Grrr.

Comments

David wrote: I'm sorry, I guess I didn't realize that people don't believe in viral or bacterial infections. Either that or have complete ignorance of human biology.

This isn't scientology and your subconscious mind isn't being haunted with the ghosts of the victims of Lord Xenu's nuclear attacks on the Earth.

You aren't being possessed by evil spirits and Zeuss isn't talking to you in your sleep. Jesus did not send angels down to council you nor is the invisible pink unicorn that lives on the moon commanding you through radio waves being emitted from it's single sparkly horn.

You did not "self-sabotage" your body into feeling sick. Your mom is not right nor was she ever right. You have no control over the fact that you are sick. Just take care of yourself, take your vitamins and your body's immune system will take care of the rest.

Oh and study well and try not to get too nervous while taking your test.
07.22.05 - 12:41 pm

I wrote:
WTF?

F*ck you, dude. You're an as*hole for making that link to scientology. If you accept that the mind and your attitude are instrumental in making a recovery from an illness it's not a far leap to guess that maybe your mind and attitude can strengthen the immune system for prevention. There are studies to support this, as I've mentioned.

The crack about biology and infections was f*cking snotty as hell. "Complete ignorance of human biology"?! The idea here, you condescending prick, is that your body's defenses can be better able to fight off the infections so you don't come down with them in the first place. That is not quasi-religious mumbo jumbo, it's something I have seen evidence of.

Just because you don't believe in anything, D, doesn't mean you have to belittle those who do. Look at Brandon. As much as we don't believe in the Bible, we at least appeal to him with logic and by expalaining what we see as contradictions. We don't gather around and make fun of him.

Not cool. You can try to pull the whole "I was kidding" bullsh*t, but I don't buy it. Your comment drips of sarcasm and bitterness towards anybody even slightly spiritual. Not cool.
07.22.05 - 5:27 pm