NOTE TO READER: The following is a sketch I wrote well over a year ago. It was written by doing an exercise where you take a book, flip to a random page and read a random passage and use that as a springboard for your own piece. The book I used was a collection of essays by Soren Kierkegaard. The passage was something about the existence of God.
You will notice that I borrowed from my own work eventually, the theme of this piece later occurs in a comic I wrote on WEASELS. Also know that I had just watched MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL the night before, so there is some influence there. It's funnier if you read it in your head with silly Python-esque accents.
We hear the sounds of pealing thunder, and roaring oceans as the world comes into being.
God: And I said let there be light. And there was light and it was good. And there was... some other stuff, and then I rested. (sits) ahhhhh...
Skeptic: Who are you then?
God: I am God, my child.
Skeptic: Well, that's a bit self-important, don't you think?
God: I beg your pardon?
Skeptic: No, I beg yours. What's so great about you, then? Hmm? Why should I worship you? Or even call you God, for that matter?
God: Why should you...? Well, I am God. What more reason do you need?
Skeptic: Who said?
God: Who said?!
Skeptic: Right.
God: Right, what?
Skeptic: Right, who said?
God: Oh. Well, I said.
Skeptic: Oh, I see. So any old bloke who says he's god and it must be so, is that right?
God: Well, no, but...
Skeptic: Ah ha! So then I shouldn't believe you, right? What's that old saying? "If you meet Buddha on the road, kill him." You see my predicament.
God: But the entirety of existence comes from me. I am perfection. All and all am I.
Skeptic: Now you're just getting pretentious, aren't you?
God: All right. Look, you want proof?
Skeptic: Proof?
God: Proof!
Skeptic: Well, I suppose that would help now, wouldn't it.
God: Behold! I shall create life! I shall take the body of a beaver and attach to it a duck's bill.
(The creature he describes forms before their eyes as he describes it)
Yes, live my child, LIVE! Now, for the finishing touch; it's a mammal, but it lays eggs.
(In response it promptly lays a nice large clutch of eggs)
There! See ye, doubter? See ye, that I am the lord almighty?!? How's that for proof?
Skeptic: Proof? That's not proof. That's just stupid.
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New link under "Friends" to the left, called Maturity. Check it out. The guy is funny as hell.
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