Poop Shute

A few nights ago I got into an interesting political discussion with a good friend. He was trying to assert that Democrats don't care enough about "family." When I asked for an example he pointed me to how easy divorce is in this country. What I gathered from his points is that he thinks that a great deal of society's problems can be blamed on the collapse of the family, which in turn can be blamed on how easy it is to divorce, which in turn can be blamed on the Democrats. The following is a copy of the email I sent him the next day.

I post this in hopes to hear your opinions as well on the issue.

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I have had some more thoughts to add to the family conversation last night.

I think my biggest problem is that your idea of a family is very narrow and limited. In your mind a family is stronger simply because the parents stay together, right? Who is to say what a family SHOULD be? It seems like you are unwilling to accept the idea that family could take on other forms and still be a healthy, functioning, supportive environment for those involved. What about a family where one parent has died? Granted, those kids definately suffer a paiful loss, but do those kids suffer the moral distablization you say is linked to the collapse of the american family? Or what about when both parents die and the kids are raised by a grandma or an uncle or even a good foster parent? Are those kids automatically worse off? What if they find a love and stability in their new home that they never had before? Couldn't that qualify as another version of "family"? Again, I refer you to my family. My mother may have left the house, but she never for a second left my life. I had all the love and support from both parents that kids with happily married parents get, but my parents were divorced. Brian is a good example too. His Dad slid downhill into drugs and crime, and Brian ended up with only a mother for most of his formative years through the present. Are Brian and I a societal problem? Are we a moral liability? If you say yes, then we are at an impass. Hell, Nick Gorodenski too. I would say that he had a much more supportive male figure in the form of Chico than he did in his biological dad. Isn't that a family? If you say no, then tell me how it is not.

BUT, I will concede that the huge number of divorces in this country is not a good thing. I am skeptical that it is a significant problem, but it is troubling. I would suggest that making divorce harder is not the answer. To me this will only compound the problem. Trapping unhappy people in the very situation causing their unhappiness cannot help society, especially when statistics show that the number of people trapped in this way would be overwhelming. I'm sure you would suggest that these "trapped" people would be forced to change something/work on it/etc. Right? Not likely. What I know of human nature tells me otherwise.

I would suggest that making marriage harder to get into in the first place would be a better answer. Pass laws requiring minimum relationship length before marriage is possible, like... I believe it's India. In India (if I have that right, it might be another country) the law states that you must know someone three years before you can be legally married. Pass laws requiring mandatory counciling sessions for a predetermined length of time before marriage, etc etc. As it stands right now any two people (provided they are not same-sex) can go and get a marriage license. If you make it a bigger hurdle to get over in the first place then only those truly committed will make it through the process. This may not solve the problem, but it should help ease the tide of divorces.

On a lighter note, creating the mandatory counciling would also create thousands of jobs all across the country, effictively killing two birds with one stone. :-)

Please retort. I look forward to your thoughts.
J

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