Poop Shute

There once was a planet called Earth.

Well, okay, there still is a planet called Earth, but this story happened a long time ago. This Earth was a more different Earth

Ahem. On this more different Earth there once was a land called Bananas.

In this Land of Bananas there once was a mighty king named Fred.

Fred was a monkey king. King of The Monkeys they called him.

Fred was a good king, and a fair king, and the people loved him and held parades for him every day.

But after years and years Fred grew bored of parades EVERY day. He was bored of getting everything he asked for right when he asked for it. Anything at all and he would get it.

One day he decided to start making unreasonable requests. He would ask for the strangest and most bizarre things just to see if his subjects could and would get it for him.

Just for a change of pace he would ask for a swimming pool filled with frogs.

And he got it. Much to his complete lack of surprise.

The next day he got sillier and asked for three of his subjects to present themselves before the king with a banana stuffed up each of their nostrils.

As silly a sight as it was, the King was still too bored to laugh.

The next day he got craftier and asked for clothes.

The monkey people did not know what clothes were, so Fred had to describe it to them.

As soon as they understood the request they emptied Fred's closet full of bananas and refilled it with a whole new wardrobe.

Fred was impressed with the finery they provided him with, and began wearing these clothes all the time.

Now it was time for a real surprise for Fred. Every other monkey in The Land Of Bananas began wearing clothes too.

Skirts and shirts and ties and pants and belts. They all seemed to like his clothes idea.

"Monkey see, monkey do." Fred said to himself. "Hmmm..."

The next day Fred demanded his people make him a car.

"A what?" "What's that?" "Is it food?" All the monkeys were scratching their heads, and shifting uncomfortably in their new dresses and suits.

Fred drew up plans, and before he knew it, he had his very own car.

And sure enough, within a short time, all the monkeys were driving around in cars. Going from tree-house to tree-house and from jungle to jungle in no time at all.

Fred wasn't bored anymore, no sir. He starting to feel like he was on a roll now. "Why stop now? We can have anything and everything we want!"

Next Fred decreed his people should create a money system.

Again all his subjects began to scratch their heads, and dance around. "What's a money?" "Does it taste good?" "Can you drive it, or wear it?"

Again, Fred held their attention as he explained, and diagramed his new idea to the other monkeys.

This time, they did not seem to like it right away, and he had to convince them.

"You see, you do your work for the Land, and you get a piece of paper. Each piece of paper lets you get something for it. So if you get enough pieces of paper you can get a banana."

One very confused monkey stepped forward. "But, sire, what 'work' do we need to do? I mean, we all seem to do just fine right now running, jumping, playing and flinging poo. If I want a banana, I climb a tree and get myself one. Why do I need this paper?"

Fred could seehe still had a lot of explaining to do. He talked long and hard into the night...

And the next day...

AND the next night. Finally, they seemed to come around. They were not nearly as enthusiastic as they were with his other ideas, but they were willing to try.

So, every monkey was given a job. There were monkey lawyers, and monkey doctors, and even monkey police.

Soon the bamboo huts grew taller and taller. Soon parts of the jungle were cleared to make roads for their cars.

Soon the monkeys forgot all about their happy-go-lucky days. No more running, jumping and playing. And now there was a law against poo-flinging.

All the monkeys spent their days sitting. Behind the wheel of a car, behind a desk, or behind a fast-food counter

One day, a very old King Fred looked up from a pile of paperwork on his desk He looked across the room at a mirror, and did not recognize the face he saw.

He looked out the window at the new city he had built, and he did not recognize his homeland anymore either.

Then he stared deep into the jungle.

He could barely remember what life had been like before, but he knew it was simpler. He wanted to get back to it, but... how?

He knew that his suit wasn't a part of it, so he took it off.

He was about to drive off in his car, but he remembered that wasn't part of it either.

Then he looked at the money in his hand. That certainly wasn't part of it, so he threw it aside.

Most of the monkeys never noticed their great king had left, they continued on in their new monkey lives and their new monkey jobs.

But some monkeys did notice, and they followed him back home. Back to the simple Land of Bananas.

Last shots: something like Fred walking back into jungle, then maybe a shot somehow including the happy monkeys in the jungle AND the unhappy monkeys in the city. Maybe another shot of Fred observing the monkeys with bananas up their noses, only this time he laughs.

Copyright 2004 Joseph Moore