Poop Shute

Night Of The Living Creep

Way back in 7th or 8th grade (I forget the exact year) I dated a girl named Ashley. At this point I have very few details in my memory of Ashley. I remember she was a blonde, she had a great body, and she had one of those tight long-sleeve t-shirts with the multi-colored horizontal stripes that every girl wore in 1993. The only reason I remember the shirt is because she's wearing it in the only picture of her I have in my mind.

I also remember this girl Ashley had an older brother named Josh.

Josh was creepy.

No, Josh was more than creepy. He redefined creepy. Like, after meeting Josh you would look at other creeps and say they were "joshy."

Those two are both names and faces I haven't seen or thought about in many years.

Last night Josh made a brief guest appearance in the sitcom that is my life. I was at a show at ASU's theatre department about exotic dancers. Confessions Of a GoGo Girl. It's pretty cool. Essentially, this woman who danced for years in clubs wrote a play about all the interesting stories that came out of working in a business like that. So you get alternating bursts of witty/touching monologues with bursts of hot girls dancing provocately to driving bass beats. Hot.

For their preshow two of the girls dance on the edge of the stage, and in your program is a fake dollar bill, so you can go "tip" one of them, if you like.

This is where Josh walked in. Of course, he had to sit right down in front. And of course, he stood gawking in the front row, a mere three feet away from one of the girls before he could sit. Nobody in the house failed to catch this.

After spending his "tip" money, he trotted off to the lobby to get more.

Needless to say he put all of us (the girls onstage included) in that mindset of a go go club. By being "that guy" he made us all observers in what the author's life must have been like. I mean, the characters in the show will describe guys JUST. LIKE. HIM.

With him the show seemed to resonate a little deeper than I imagine it otherwise would have.

So, on behalf of playwrite Jill Morley, and the cast of the show, I thank you, Josh.

But, on behalf of women everywhere, Josh... the word shudder says it all, I think.