Poop Shute

Mr Palahniuk, if you're reading this... love me. Please.

Choke

The adaptation of Chucky's finest work (thus far anyway) goes swimmingly. My early drafts have been met with nothing but acclaim as of yet...well, not counting one guy.

Okay, so here's a thought to consider when writing a play... or when writing anything at all, actually.
NEVER, and I mean NEVER show it to an English professor. Unless, of course you enjoy being met with apathetic dismissal. Putting yourself in that situation is like being that poor, sad little boy always searching for his father's approval and never seeing that his father's approval is meaningless. Long story short, my friend, Jim (a professor) didn't like it. No hook, he said. NO HOOK?!?!

So I guess a guy trying really hard in the opening scene to talk the audience out of watching the show about his life is NOT a hook. I guess seeing an intercut flashback of this same character as a kid being kidnapped by his mommy and thrown onboard a stolen school bus, while he repeatedly calls the child version of himself stupid and a rat and continues to implore you not to stay and watch IS NOT A F**KING HOOK.

Sorry. But I thought there was plenty of damn hook. And so have all my readers thus far. These readers being of varying backgrounds and interests.

One could argue that the professor would be the proverbial "heavy bat." Meaning, if you can impress him, then you can impress anybody.
I'd have to disagree. I would argue that many English professors (this one especially) are so heavily bogged down with analysis and old fashioned writing rules that they can't see the forrest for the trees. Much how I am when I watch a movie. It's sad, but sometimes our passion for a thing can take us so far into it that we don't see it for what it is anymore.


Blah Blah Blah. Words words words. The play's the thing.

Oh my god. I'm starting to randomly quote Shakespeare all the time. It's time for a break from acting. Or at least from classical speech for a while.