Poop Shute

Oh, David Letterman, No! No! No!

Do you remember that Simpsons Halloween Special where all the billboard characters and restaurant mascots came to life and started terrorizing the town?

Remember Paul Anka's jingle that destroyed them?

"Just don't look, just don't look!"

You deprive them of attention and you rob them of their power and they die.

WHY WHY WHY can't we all agree to do that to Sarah Palin?!

I realize that by writing this, I am sort of part of the problem, but I am only writing to be the voice of metacognition. Think about it people.

I'm referring of course to the ridiculous "feud" between Sarah Palin and David Letterman. If you don't know what I'm talking about, READ HERE.

Sarah Palin succeeded in branding herself as a the beauty pageant runner up from hell. She appeared to most of us like a crazy, Prada-wearing, gun-toting, high-functioning retarded woman from the hills. She became a laughing stock for her $100,000 clothing bills, hunting from helicopters, and public speaking skills that fall somewhere between George W Bush and THIS CHICK and in the process did more good for the Democratic party than any democrat has done in nearly a decade. Thank you Sarah.

But now, don't you see what is happening here? It's just like what Blagojevich has been trying to do. She's grabbing at any press she can get to make sure she remains relevent. She can't let us forget her. If she fades back into the Alaskan obscurity from whence she came, then she can't run for national office again in 2012. This way, she stays in our minds, and allows herself a chance to REbrand, and try again.

Jokes in poor taste are told all the time about any number of celebrities and politicians, but the $#%@ media gave credence to this stupid feud, and David Letterman caved to pressure and apologized to her, thusly rewarding and validating Palin's half-baked gripes and rewarding the stupid $#@% media that perpetuated this garbage.

But, I urge you, my fellow Americans, nay I implore you, heed the concise words of Paul Anka; Just Don't Look, Just Don't Look!

...or if you must look, never forget. Do NOT let her rebrand. When she reappears in full force somewhere between now and when the 2012 election drive really amps up (and she will) and she begins to appear different and possibly more appealing (and she will) just remember her piss poor debate showing. Remember when Katie Couric asked her to name what specific news sources she reads, and she replied "all of them." Just remember... THE HORROR