Poop Shute

FBR was NOT a president

Went to the Phoenix Open today with my pops and little bro. It was a good time. We were in the skybox on hole 16, which is famous for being a rowdy and noisy hole. Supposedly, Tiger Woods has said he will never return to play the Phoenix Open again because of that hole. I didn't really see anything that made that statement make sense, but I'm told by people who are regulars that today's energy was kind of sub-par (pun intended) for that crowd.

There were some really cool folks. met a guy born and raised in Scotland, but chickened out about trying out my dialect on him, even though my dad insisted the guy is a kook, and would get a kick out of it. There was free food and free booze. I could have gotten wasted without paying a dime, but I didn't drink a drop! I feel like that is some kind of victory of personal discipline. I did have one of the best cheeseburgers I've ever had, and some mediocre pasta salad.

The highlight was our cute waitress was flirting with me a little bit. I asked for a bottle of water from her and she smiled a wry smile and said "Wow. Wild man."

I laughed, and added "Yeah, I think later I might go real crazy and order a tomato juice."

She faked amazement and finished with "Woah, slow down now."

A couple hours later, a guy near me ordered a water and as she turned to go get him his water she made eye-contact with me and smiled the same smile.

When she returned with his water and came past me again I said with a teasing tone "You think it's really funny when people order water, don't you?"

She gave me the same smile, and stepped closer so the other guy who got water couldn't hear her. "No, I think it's funny when people don't tip. I mean, seriously, does he think I'm doing this shit because it's so much fun?"

I reached for my wallet, and asked her for another water. She smiled again, but insisted that wasn't what she was trying to do. I assured her that I really wanted another water.

When she brought it back, I tipped her five bucks. She tried to give it back, but I insisted. I figured the next time she came back, maybe I'd try chatting her up a little more. Mere minutes later my bro and dad were heading for the exit, so I never got a chance. Oh well. No worries. Hell, she may have just been hustling me for better tips, afterall. Who knows.

Still though. It was nice to flirt.