Poop Shute

Stalker

Recently I have been doing a lot of mental inventory. Been thinking a lot about my past, especially past relationships. Then I remembered a non-relationship that is just really a feel-good story for all ages. Not really. It's actually creepy as hell. Enjoy.

To preserve her dignity, let's call her Tina. I'm not kidding with that title of the post either. She was a stalker. It was scary. Just in case you think I have a swelled head and I'm exaggerating, let me tell you the key ot understanding the story:

I went on one date with this girl. ONE. Ever.

We made out a little bit that night, but there were just no sparks, so I was going to do what any guy would do in that situation and just not call her again. I know I know, totally immature, but I was only 19 years old at the time, cut me some slack.

Anyway, within the first week after that date she called every day... several times a day... and got weepy and needy on my answering machine. One day I got home and there were 5 messages in a row. The first was "Hi, how are you. Let's hang out" and the rest got progressively more emotional until the fifth one was "I don't think you're taking this relationship as seriously as I am!" WHAT!? I still remember feeling chills on that one, and wondering if there was a hidden camera and it was all just a sick joke.

It wasn't.

The worst was when I caught her driving past my house just to see if I was there. Nope, wait, that wasn't the worst. The worst was one time I was on a date at my house with a new girl, a girl I actually liked. We were watching some rented DVD's and Tina showed up at the door and walked on in and sat down and joined us. I was too nice to yell the obscenities that were brewing below the surface, and plus I didn't want to make a bad impression on my actual date. After that night she left a message talking about how if I didn't stop seeing other girls I was going to lose her. CREEPY!

I would later find that my now ex-wife was friends with her at the time. Tina would go to her for advice about this guy that she had been "dating". Little did she know that Tina was nuttier than a squirrel. It was at my ex-wife's prompting that she used the phrase "you're not taking this relationship as seriously as I am."

Small world. I also came to find that my best friend at the time was working with the guy she stalked before she met me. Sergio was simultaneously relieved for himself, but frightened for me when he found she had weened herself off of him in favor of me.

Eventually she got over it and I never heard from her again. For reasons unrelated to her I moved and changed phone numbers, and that is when she finally disappeared. That may be why I never heard from her again, but one can only hope she gave up before that happened.

Not sure why I shared that story. Just thought it might make an interesting read.