Poop Shute

Happy As A Clam

I never understood that expression. Why do people assume that clams are so friggin' happy anyway? I mean, okay, so they have the security of owning their own home (which they wear) and on waterfront property no less, so I guess that's pretty sweet. BUT if I were a clam I don't think I'd be sporting an ear-to-ear, you know? They kind of lost out in that whole motor function and sensory organ thing when our "Intelligent" Designer was passing out bodies. And pretty damn low on the food chain to be so chipper, if you ask me. How happy are you going to be when a crab cracks you open and slurps you down for a snack? Not very, I'll wager.

But I digress. The phrase is still appropriate, even if I don't understand it.

I am happy. Very happy. I'm done putting myself (and those around me) through a silly stupid kind of hell.

My last post was accompanied by a 6am trip to Kim's car to cover it with somewhere in the neighborhood of 150 post-it notes. One for each day since our relationship first elevated from friends to lovers. Each one was hand written, and most of them were different. I was writing them between 3 and 5 am, and I was really tired, so after a while I may have repeated myself a time or two, but I tried my best. I couldn't sleep that night, and wanted to surprise her before she left for work in the morning. So, I did what any red-blooded American boy who is sick with longing for someone would do; I drove to Wal-Mart and bought supplies to create a time-bomb of cuteness on her car.

Oh, and I finally gave her the birthday present I wanted to get her a couple weeks ago. A Nintendo DS Lite. She loved it.

I also email-bombed her. Myspace, Facebook, and her aol account all saw notes from me.

The rest of the week has been spent showering her with attention, and gifts. The attention thing will be ongoing, but the gifts part needs to taper off a bit before I go broke.

We still haven't been on that date yet, but we've been to Taco Bell and bought a new bed. I think that kind of counts.

Oh, and the guy that sold me the bed was really cool, and turns out to be married to a girl I went to high school with. We're going to Havasupai with them in August. SWEET!

Life goes on, and merrily so.

COMMENTS:

Be weary of expressing too much joy and contentment. The Gods of Olympus are always watching (at least when they're not squabbling with each other).
therealdavid 04.05.07 - 3:57 pm

I think they say "Happy as a Clam" because your standard garden variety clam looks like it's smiling.
Crohn 04.05.07 - 4:46 pm

Congrats. I'm happy you're happy.
Bess 04.05.07 - 6:59 pm

happiness is a wonderful thing.
Mollie 04.06.07 - 12:48 am

It's 'cause clams are fvcking rich.
Guillermo 04.08.07 - 1:16 pm

Indeed, look at that clam. It's like he's pimped out in blue velvet. He just needs a fat gold chain and some bling.
therealdavid 04.09.07 - 11:11 am

Clams blling out with pearls, not gold, dude.
Josh 04.09.07 - 12:17 pm