I'm about 99% healthy again

Still haven't written anything beyond blog posts yet, but it's simmering on the back burner right now. Business is picking up, and the show is about to go into tech/dress stuff, so it's not like I've been a lazy lump.

Although, I did spend a good little chunk of time the last couple evenings watching South Park and Scrubs, so I guess I could manage my time better. I need to stop making excuses and prioritize my time.

Damn me and my inability to lie to myself. Once you become aware of the lies that we use on ourselves to make ourselves feel better, you become incapable of really buying into them anymore. You start to realize that if you really wanted to do something, you'd be doing it.

I really want to do this writing thing more. So I'm going to.

Right after I clean out my car.

Damn it.

Some people just don't know when to quit

I was really sick last weekend. I stayed in bed for the better part of three days. It was a gross sinus/throat kinda junk.

By wednesday I felt mostly better, so I stopped taking it so easy. I generally don't like "taking it easy" when I have to. I am an active guy, with an active lifestyle and a VERY active job, so when I get sidelined I just don't know what to do with myself.

"Put me back in coach, I'm ready!" I said to myself.

Bad idea.

I spent this weekend equally as sick as the last. I'm doing a little better now, but man was I gross earlier today.

I have been saying all week that I wanted to catch up on some writing. You'd think that I would take advantage of all that time laid up. Nope. Squandered it watching DVD's and bad TV.

I've been reading a little too, so it's not a total loss of time. Blogging has been the only creative output, but there has been plenty of input. Let's just call it "research." When I say writing, this stuff you're reading now isn't quite what I have in mind. I've been wanting to start writing fiction again. A play, a novel, something. I don't know yet.

It's time to start scheduling writing. Block out some time and make it inviolate. And force myself out of the house so that I have no distractions from my mission.

Tomorrow.

Hmm

I am dating.

Really? Is that right? I guess so. I don't know.

I am dating a little here. I am a little too hung up on a girl who seems way too busy to really get close to. I don't know.

I am spending more and more time on my phone with an amazing girl who lives approximately 1800 miles away.

I just don't know.


***********************************

In other news

I have decided to go back to being vegetarian. I will make exceptions on occasion, but only for hormone/antibiotic free meat. No more fast food.

My system has had a rough time readjusting to the omnivorous lifestyle, and I've decided that I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I have had entirely too many digestive issues lately to let this go on.

Besides all that. I let myself slide because the women in my life were big meat-eaters. They didn't really peer pressure me, but having it around all the time made it difficult to resist. They are out of my life now, so now I can refocus my discipline.

I am reclaiming my life one piece at a time, and loving every second of the new life I am building for myself.

To sum up; dating is intriguinghorriblefunstrange. Life is grand.

COMMENTS:

Dating, hmm? 1800 miles away? Too busy? Sounds like an awful lot of trouble for just some girl.
Although, I strangely am in a very similar situation. Hmm...
I agree. Dating is intriguinghorriblefunstrange.
Bess 11.26.06 - 2:36 pm

I should contact Webster's about my new word. I think it has potential.
Joey 11.27.06 - 3:37 am

......................

The above ellipsis is my initial reaction to THE FOUNTAIN. Silence. It was a good two or three minutes into the credits before I even moved.

I was blown away. I won't even begin to describe the story, because it's just too much, and I couldn't do it justice with a few sentences. But you should go see it. And I'm not building it up too much by saying that, because I am not 100% certain I liked it yet. I was definitely blown away, but I'm still digesting it.

The music and the visuals were so strikingly beautiful that I am left with this perpetual feeling that I am about to cry. The tears aren't coming, but it's that feeling like they just might at any second.

Ryan and I have a suspicion that this movie will likely flop financially. It's too cerebral, too slow and too breath-taking to grab John Q. Public's movie-going dollar. Prove me wrong, America, and go see something with substance for once in your fat, jackass-electing lives.
Yeah, I'm an elitist, but that's just because I'm better than you. So nyah!

For those of you who just thought "what a prick," that last bit was an ironic joke.

I have one nit-picky quibble with the director, DARREN ARONOFSKY. He seems to be madly in love with the EXTREME close-up. I mean, it was a whirlwind romance. They met on set, and the two of them just got back from their honey-moon, and let's just say that their may be the pitter-patter of EXTREMELY CLOSE little feet soon in the Aronofsky household.

But seriously.

I think I know what he was going for with it, but at times it just got to be too much. It seems like any time anybody is talking that their face must fill 90% of the frame. The poor set designer must have wept because we rarely ever see his excellent work. A wider shot here and there to elaborate on spatial relationships, the space itself and physical connections between the characters would be nice. Not a whole lot more often, because for the most part, I liked the close-ups. And there were wider shots here and there, but not quite enough for my tastes. Specifically I wanted to see more shots that contained two people sharing dialogue and occupying the same frame.

Hell, who knows, maybe I just hit the reason right there. Maybe the actors were almost never on the lot at the same time, and the close-ups are because they just couldn't shoot frames with two people sharing dialogue. Maybe most of the time HUGH JACKMAN isn't looking at anything but an intern when he is taking our breath away. Maybe RACHEL WEISZ is really aiming all her glowing intensity and earnest warmth at the script supervisor. Perhaps the amazing ELLEN BURSTYN was talking to chalk combined with some swiss cheese and a beard.

5% more group/wider shots would do it for me. Like I said, it's nit-picky.

4.5 out of 5 Poops

My Grandma

When I was little, and living in the suburbs of Chicago, my grandparents lived across the street. Naturally, they used to babysit for us a lot. Both my parents worked, so after school I would just go to hang out with grandma until 5ish when mom and/or dad came to get me and my little brother.

Sometimes my parents would go out for a date night, and so we would spend the night over with grams and gramps. My brother and I would share a double air mattress, and inevitably he'd hog the covers and I'd hog the bed. By morning I would be sprawled across the middle and shivering while he was smashed into the wall, snug as a bug in a very small rug.

My grandma is a notorious troublemaker, and used to have fun getting us riled up. I wonder now if we were unwitting pawns in a power struggle between patriarch and matriach, but she made sure we had fun, so we didn't care.

My favorite example involves ice cream.

My grandma has a pretty big sweet tooth. Sometimes... Scratch that. Most of the time that we spent the night over their for date nights my grandma would take the opportunity to use my brother and I as a means to an end. She taught us a chant that is near and dear to my heart, to this day:

I SCREAM! YOU SCREAM! WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!

She would instigate us by chanting it herself and lead us in a march around the coffee table in the living room. Sometimes she'd even give us props, like wooden spoons and pots to bang on. This would go on until my grandfather would grunt and groan his way out of his easy chair and drive us all to Baskin Robbins. Sometimes I wonder if he let us go on for a while just because it was funny, or if he really was resisting in favor of laziness.

If I remember right, I think my mom told me she used to use this chant back when my mom and aunts were little too. It's apparently a family tradition at this point. Well, who am I to break tradition? I look forward to one day parading my own kids and subsequent grandkids around to coerce their mother into letting us all go out for ice cream.

Good times.

That, my friends, is the legendary Frank Zappa. Musician. Comedian. Author.

I just recently stumbled across a collection of his complete discography. Ten gigabytes of crazy-ass Zappa tunes. One thousand, five hundred and eighty-four songs.

HELL YEAH.

Actually, the name for this blog comes from a lyric from his 1979 album Sheik Yerbouti. The song is entitled Broken Hearts Are For Assholes. The lyric goes a little something like this...

"Ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up yer poopshute!"

Good times. Good times.

I first discovered Mr Zappa at the tender age of about thirteen. My mom was dating this guy named Mark who had a brother named Chris. Mark was a pretty cool guy, but Chris was the coolest almost-uncle a kid could ask for. He is one of those rare grown-ups who knows how to relate to a thirteen year-old and make him feel like a peer, you know? I never felt like I was hanging out with an elder with him. I was just one-of-the-guys. Not to mention he was funny as hell.

At some point Chris went through some sort of existential crisis or some such thing, and decided to go as minimalist as possible. He rid himself of anything that wasn't useful or essential. Basically he got rid of all distractions. No more video games, cd's, movies. he gave it all up to pursue higher conciousness. If you ask me, he might as well have gone one further and joined a Tibetan monastary, but who am I to judge.

Anyway, in this cleansing of stuff that Chris went through, he decided I was lacking in a few items that he could provide.

He knew I was very much into music, so he gave me his guitar.

Wow. My first guitar. I was speechless. What thirteen year-old American boy doesn't dream of playing the guitar? I guess he figured any kid who loves music should have an opportunity to learn how to make his own. I'm sure my Dad loved him for that one.

He also noticed a void in my music collection. I didn't own any Frank Zappa, or Black Sabbath. To him this was a travesty.

On that glorious day I received my first copy of Sheik Yerbouti, along with Sabbath's Paranoid. I say "first copy" because it is one of many CD's to have been borrowed and never returned over the years. Couldn't tell you who has it now.

If you like Tenacious D, then you should look into Franky. He was doing that kinda silly-lyrics-with-ridiculously-good-guitar schtick before Jack Black and K.G. were even born.

"...Sir Richard Pump-a-loaf, the demented bread boffer..."

Haha. Oh Frank, you had me at yerbouti.

In Videogame News...

HAHAHA. People and their obsessions crack me up. I saw this on GOOGLE NEWS today.

The first buyer [of the new Nintendo Wii], Isaiah Triforce Johnson, had been waiting in line outside the store for more than a week. He wore a Nintendo Power Glove, a wearable controller that came out in 1989, while shaking hands with Nintendo of America President Reggie Fils-Aime after buying the first Wii. Johnson said he had legally changed his middle name to a reference in Nintendo's "Zelda" game series.

I'm going to start going by Joey Kong... no no, Metroid Moore. Hmm. Suggestions?

Why acting?

I asked someone that recently, and after answering, they turned it around on me.

My first performing inspiration is kinda silly, but it's true. You know how a lot of spots in your memories of childhood are these single snapshot moments? They were part of a larger scene at the time, but now its just a crystal clear image or two, you know?

Well, I was always a joker, my big passion has always been making people laugh. My parents probably expected me to go into stand-up instead of acting, but I don't have the discipline to structure my humor into a routine. Whenever I try its never quite as funny as when it's off the cuff.

Damn it, tangent.

Anyway, the first snapshots I remember that inspired me were riding in the back seat of the car as a kid. I remember telling corny little kid jokes that I heard at school or on tv and trying to make my parents laugh or even smile. Usually my tiny kid brain wouldn't reach their adult humor centers, but once in a while from my perch in the back seat I would see the side of their cheek rise up in a smile, and I knew I had done it! I relished those moments, those little snapshots of bringing my parents mirth in profile. At the time I didn't know that it was the budding actor in me already fixating on accolades, however small. But I did know I liked it, and wanted more of it.

Also, I remember seeing the 1980's version of Little Shop of Horrors as a kid and deciding that I had to play Steve Martin's role. Orin, The Dentist, is probably one of the most fun things I can think of doing on stage. Especially if they adapt it for me like they did for Mr. Martin, because the original broadway version is written for a Tenor, and I am a Baritone.

"Your temperment's wrong for priesthood and teaching would suit you still less..."

Son, be an actor, you'll be a success.

COMMENTS:

You know, people stop me on the street and say "Why strategic market research?"
And I say to them "Because I'm good at statistics and I can't make money making zombies in photoshop."
Or the best answer is "It beats world wide inkjet supplies."
I think it all stems from a time when I was 8 years old living in Fresno, CA. I looked in the mirror and said "David, you're going to grow up to be the biggest corporate shill mankind has ever known."
Each day I work towards being that person.
therealdavid 11.19.06 - 12:18 am

David, I love you man, but you're full of it. I know it, you know it, we all know it.
There IS money to be made for someone with your level of photoshop skill. Good money at fun jobs. Those jobs don't just fall into your lap, you have to work towards them. You have to seek them out. Hell, I myself have thrown you warm leads to get you started in that field numerous times, and you never did anything with them by your own admission.
My point is this market thing is a cop-out. You once told me that you realized that your first college degree was this cliched jewish quest for money (a paraphrase of your words) and you also realized that money isn't what would make you happy. So, why seek a second degree in a similar field? Why write off what you like to do so easily in favor of the easy money?
Please, tell me I'm wrong. I hope I am. I hope that you've found fulfillment in your chosen field and I am just ranting about nothing. I hope I am a lone nut on this one. But I don't think that's true.
Joey 11.19.06 - 1:05 am

Thanks for answering your own question! You should have known I would have turned that one around on you.
Bess 11.19.06 - 3:13 am

Joey, clearly my post was meant as a joke. But allow me to elaborate...
My first degree was information systems, my second degree is focused around marketing. Trust me, the two fields are incredibly different. The only problem I have is trying to convince folks like P&G to hire my ass.
I am not an artist, nor will I ever be an artist. As much as people think that I am, I'm really not.
My previous post was a sarcastic joke, but I actually like what I've been learning. And as for searching for jobs, I fully realize that these things don't fall in your lap. I've been going to career fairs across the country, been interviewing all over the place, and going to industry conferences while going to school. Oh, I've also been doing all this while working part-time for Lexmark.
The reason why I decided against the art direction is simple. It didn't make me happy. Whether it was making zombies because I was angry, logos for Initial Impressions because I needed the money, or websites for various folks because I was bored. None of it ever made me happy.
Finding like minded people passionate about doing good work, that makes me happy and that's what I found at Thunderbird. Now I just need to find a job and sustain that.
therealdavid 11.20.06 - 2:05 pm

Ok. I withdraw my comments David.
I apologize for sticking my nose in. It just seemed to me like you were happier when you were more artisticly inclined, that's all.
I know you're post was a joke, but a lot of your humor these past years has been self-depricating, and mostly about your career, AND mostly not that funny because it seems too close to the truth.
I'm glad your happy. That is what I like to hear. :-)
Joey 11.20.06 - 4:54 pm

How To Have Friends That Disagree On Fundamentals Of Life.

I recently met someone who I have been having an ongoing conversation with. During this chat she mentioned that she likes to meet "like-minded" people. I agreed, but also mentioned that different-minded people can also be a welcome addition to your life. They can push you and challenge you and even teach you more than a like-minded person ever could. I mentioned that my friend John and I have long disagreed on many of the things that we see as the fundamentals of life, and yet I love him like he were my own brother.

She asked how to accomplish this. She mentioned that she finds herself wanting to "help" the other person see the light. I understand that concept perfectly, because I think we all fall into that trap a little bit. I know I do it sometimes. You can't help but feel evangelical when you think you are right and they are wrong. It seems natural, but it can lead to some hurtful arguments if you're not careful.

I thought long and hard about the question, and here is what I have come up with.

Here are the keys, as I see it:

Expect it to come up, don't avoid it.

Enjoy the spirited debate as just that; a spirited debate, and NOT an argument. Think of it as two people better honing their own points on the issue, and learning what the opposition has to say. Through this process you may find holes in their points that make them think. Maybe you'll find holes in your own points that you never knew were there. If you can take these discoveries rationally, then you will either find a way to plug the holes, or abandon the point entirely.

In the end you have to expect to agree to disagree, because it is only very rarely that discussion will change any one person's mind on any issue they take seriously.

OH, and MOST IMPORTANTLY don't ever discuss these issues in a group setting. Only one-on-one. This way neither of you is in danger of being ganged up on. Feelings get hurt that way. It's funny how a roomful of people disagreeing with you can seem so much more offensive than just one person, no matter how calm and collected they are. Emotional reactions in these situations are common and rarely ever leave the reactive person able to continue rationally.

Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Concerns?

I'm going to enjoy reading what people have to say about this topic in the PEBBLY POOPS below.

COMMENTS:

As an addendum, on the internet, you're almost never alone so it's best to avoid serious discussion on the web unless you are looking for an exercise in futility.
Crohn 11.16.06 - 7:19 pm

Everything you've said is completely wrong.
To truly understand someone, you must devour their heart.
Some idiots believe you have to devour the brain, but they're wrong too. The brain is just a decoy, you see.
Guillermo 11.17.06 - 2:06 pm

I thought you eat someone's heart to steal their strength, not to understand them.
therealdavid 11.17.06 - 5:13 pm

Well if that were true then this should still be the Indians land.
Brian Y. 11.18.06 - 3:37 am

i love how we get off on crazy tangents. Anyway, my comments etc. I think the most important part of being friends with anyone is knowing that you are going to disagreee on things. Probably lots of things. The world would be boring if we all thought the same way. So, respecting other opinions. Knowing that other opinions are not wrong, just different. I find that a lot of people can't do that, they see it in my opinion is right, yours is wrong. I hate that. Also, having been the one person in the group situation, it is way not fun. And it really does seem like everyone is ganging up on you. And it ends up not being an interesting or productive conversation, because the one person just gets attacked from all sides instead of discussion. Ok, that is all. Loop, I am sort of half way back in!
Mollie 11.19.06 - 11:40 pm

I fundamentally disagree with you on how to disagree with friends. Everyone standing around me as I type this agrees.
Guillermo 11.20.06 - 5:45 pm

I disagree even more today than I did yesterday. And yesterday, I disagreed a lot.
Guillermo 11.21.06 - 7:05 pm

SCREW YOU GURG!
ARGHLARGLE FLARGLE POCK!
Awe, see what you did? You proved my point. All rational thought went out the window because of your attack. I can feel it slipping again...
BLECH URGH FLIFICKITY RAD! THE BANANA IS PROOF THAT GOD EXISTS!!! POOFLE GNARGLE!
Joey 11.22.06 - 4:16 am

No, dear Joey, YOU proved YOUR point by becoming irrational. I remain rationally aloof from all of your gnargling and poofling.
Guillermo 11.23.06 - 4:36 am

An exciting time

I have found myself writing a very similar sentiment once or twice over the years. I'm excited. This is clearly a time to be excited. You know the time I mean. You've just gone through an extremely traumatic period of your life and there is a recovery period.

I am past the recovery period.

I am loving life and feeling charged and vibrant and full of laughter. I say that its an exciting time because The Next Big Thing is right around the corner. I can smell it. Somewhere soon it will hit.

It may be a girl.

It may be my company takes off and I end up peddling workout DVD's in 2am infomercials.

Or it may be this gig I'm in right now takes off and makes me a star and I end up rich and famous... and then one day washed up and peddling Super Ultimate Juicers in 2 am infomercials.

Whatever it is, the air is electric with it.

I need to meditate more.

After a drought that lasted four months and nine days the Lands Of Poop saw rain this weekend.

It was a good rain.

It was a good long rain.

The kind of rain that leaves one sore the next day.

Among the peasents there was much rejoicing.

Peasents: IT'S ABOUT GODD@MN TIME!!

And it was too. It sure as hell was.

COMMENTS:

stupid show. i am so out of the loop.
Mollie 11.15.06 - 1:23 am

let me tell you how out of the loop: brian went to california on wednesday. i didn't know until saturday when a work friend of brian's told me. that's right, i didn't know my roommate was out of town. i actually didn't see him for a whole week. so, it's not that i have been avoiding you. i actually miss y'all quite a lot. just...well....stupid show...and it's that time of semester with big presentations and papers and stuff. so, i adore you, i miss you, hopefully i will see you soon. and i can jump back into the loop.
Mollie 11.15.06 - 1:25 am

The loop was just saying to me the other day "where the hell has Mollie been." You should give the loop a call. I think it's been a little depressed lately anyway.
Joey 11.15.06 - 6:02 pm

You Can't Take it With You

Today I had lunch with my mom. Over Subway we had a lengthy conversation about an unwelcome topic.

She is very worried that my grandparents may not be around for much longer. She talked at great length about it.

I came home from this lunch a bit shaken. I started to talk to my roommates about it and cried a little.

From there we got off onto tangents. We shared our favorite anecdotes about our respective grandparents and eventually to our families in general. Fun stories. The kinds of things that will still make you smile years after these people are long gone.

I love the people I live with. Together we managed to take what could have been a rest-of-the-day funk and turned it into a very fun and entertaining conversation.

In the course of things I remembered that in college when I was in The Farce Side Comedy Hour I had written a comedy sketch loosely based (but not too loosely) on my family thanksgiving. Farce Side was a student written and run comedy hour that went up at lunch time in the Memorial Union building.

The people in the sketch weren't exactly my family, but I was selling them that way for a laugh. I dressed it up a little bit and made my family a little quirkier than they really are for the sake of fun. For example in the sketch my mom is an alcoholic, but in real life she rarely ever has even a glass of wine. It was the show right before the turkey day break, and I wanted to do a holiday themed piece. I opened it with a little bit of narration. I don't have a copy of it anymore, but it was something like this:

ME: Thanksgivings at my house were always... interesting. My family isn't exactly what you'd call normal.

An Unscripted Voice From The Crowd: HEY!

ME: ...mom?!

A roar of laughter shook the room. Once in a while my mom would finagle long lunch breaks and come and watch the show. That day was one of those days, and I had no idea. She couldn't have picked a better day. The sketch itself was mediocre at best, but her brief interjection and even her mere presence being known had the crowd primed and ready. They ate it up. She may never know it, but she made that sketch sing.

*************

By the end of the reminiscing session I felt great. The conversation helped me to further reinforce what I have been trying to work on lately. I have been learning the buddhist idea of attachment, and how to avoid it. I recognize that I shared a great deal of joy with my grandparents over the years, and my silly human mind wants that to continue forever. It cannot. Nothing can. It is what it is, and I must let go. They may be around for years to come, or maybe only weeks more. Either way, I will still always have the good times that I shared with them. Their passing cannot undo that. Nothing can. And more importantly, they did not bring me the joy I felt, that came from within me, and will stay within me if I chose to let it.

(takes a deep breath in, and lets it out with a little laugh)

Life is good.

I am now a convicted criminal

After conferring with an attorney, and weighing my costs/benefits in the situation, I plead guilty to my retarded little traffic misdemeanor.

It came down to this: paying an attorney to fight it would have cost me somewhere in the neighborhood of $2500 - $4000. Plus, the attorneys I spoke with weren't optimistic that I would win anyway. Taking the deal that they offered me, I paid a flat $500 fine, and that is all.

I got off pretty good, considering the sentencing options were ANY OR ALL of the following:

$2000 fine

Four months in jail

Suspended license

1 year probation

They also explained to me that with the path I chose I can expunge it from my record. After one year of no offences I can come back, and they will wipe my record clean. So this way I will only pay one year of higher car insurance too.

Not a bad deal, but I'm still a little grouchy that I had to deal with any of this garbage. I think a suitable punishment would have been a stern lecture, and maybe a hefty civil ticket. At least a civil ticket is payable by mail, and would not have started a criminal record for me.

You win some, you lose some. But, it is what it is. I'm not going to let it ruin my day.