Poop Shute

Let's play a game!!

So here is a picture.



Click on the comments link and leave the funniest caption to go with this picture and win a prize!*

And please, no "Four Foot Douche." That's been done... and it's too obvious. I mean, just look at him!

* Prize to be determined later. Level of funny of captions to be judged by a panel of monkeys flinging their poo at the screen. The caption that receives the fewest poop-flings wins. Offer valid in forty-nine states. Sorry Tennessee!

COMMENTS:

"I come before you all today to announce that I, Thomas Cruise Mapother the Fourth, am the long-sought reincarnation of the great L. Ron Hubbard. That little punk Stan's got nothin' on me."
Edward Carter 04.11.06 - 12:39 pm

Haha. Interesting.
Extra points for brevity.
Joey 04.11.06 - 5:59 pm

It's tough to think of a caption because the only one who can consistently out-crazy Tom Cruise has always been Tom Cruise.
Guillermo 04.12.06 - 1:46 am

Exactly, so why does it seem so hard to capitalize on that and be funny? Me included. I can't seem to come up with anything either.
30 readers per day, and Ed is the only one who will attempt it? As it stands right now, Ed wins by default.
Damn. This isn't working at all.
Joey 04.12.06 - 2:29 am

Where is this picture from, anyway? Does Tom Cruise actually give Scientology sermons?
Edward Carter 04.12.06 - 4:29 am

"When applying Preparation H cooling cream, use the index finger of the non-dominant hand. Use smooth, circular motions, and be careful not to gesticulate violently."
Beno 04.12.06 - 5:48 am

Beno, that's great, except that I don't think Scientologists believe in Preparation H cooling cream.
Edward Carter 04.12.06 - 10:39 am

I did not engage in sexual relations with that woman.
Vega 04.12.06 - 1:06 pm

Or any other, for that matter.
Vega 04.12.06 - 1:07 pm

Ed:
This picture was taken at the opening of a new church of scientology in Spain. He wasn't giving a sermon per se, but some kind of keynote address, I'm guessing.
Joey 04.12.06 - 7:42 pm

Four Score and seven thetans ago ...
Brian Y 04.12.06 - 9:00 pm

"Let me tell you about MY Dickon moment..."
Guillermo 04.12.06 - 9:11 pm

Sermon, keynote, whatever. I still want to see the transcript.
Edward Carter 04.13.06 - 12:11 am

"This mission just got a lot more impossible."
Peace Frog 04.13.06 - 12:40 am

"I need to ventilate my finger a bit. It's spent the last 27 minutes lodged firmly up David Miscavige's ass.
Was that out loud?"
Edward Carter 04.13.06 - 12:44 am

I am here to tell you that Godzilla is sitting on the toilet behind this curtain.
Mehmet 04.13.06 - 12:49 am

And so, by converting to Scientology you won't just worship a cross. You will worship a ninja cross.
Ben Siemon 04.14.06 - 12:25 am