Poop Shute

Going To The Meat Market With a Belly Full of Prime Rib

Thursday night a handful of us tried to resurrect the weekly tradition we briefly had of going to Margarita Rocks. Over the summer it was great. Good music, cool people and cheap booze. Sadly, this night was kinda lacking. The music was hit and miss (mostly miss) and the guys were being sleazy to the ladies accompanying me (Molllie, Noel and Meg). On a positive note, the booze was still cheap.

One guy came up behind Noel while she was dancing with Mollie. Now, I'm not an extremely jealous-type, but I do have a small jealous streak in me, so this guy was getting on my nerves a little. Plus, he had this look in his eye. He was That Guy At The Club. You know, That Guy who's more than a little drunk and looking like a drooling dog over a nice steak. I just plain didn't like it. So I was watching this dude like a hawk, looking for just one wrong move to give me a good enough excuse to get myself kicked out for breaking his jaw.

Then his arm curled around her waist and he started grinding hard into her back side. Okay, not enough to warrant socking him in the face, but enough to step in. Fortunately, Meg saw it too and got in there before I could. I say fortunately because the odds of her getting into a fight with the guy were significantly lower, and also if that did happen, odds are he would be thrown out, not her. Sometimes the old gender double-standard can pay off for a lady.

With That Guy still behind No', Meg came up to her front and shot him a look that would've said to any rational guy "FVCK OFF!!"I saw this look and it said that loud and clear to me, but not to our new friend. Eventually, after repeatedly attempting to talk to the two girls and getting nowhere, the guy got the hint and left them alone... BUT then he came back. After they came off the floor and were hanging around with me on the side, there he was. He leaned in too close to Meg for my liking and said something like this:

That Guy: Hey, can I just dance with your friend? (pointing at Noel)

Meg: No, and you need to go away. Now.

Again, I was about to do the macho asshole thing, but again Meg took care of it without two males getting into a pissing contest. God, I love my girls. As much as my protective instincts kick in, I rarely ever need to use them. A girl who can take care of her own sh*t is so hot.

Later, as we were leaving we saw something that I don't think I ever expected to see in real life. As we walked up to our car to take off, two people were climbing out of the dense bushes in front of our parking spot. I'd say they were hispanic, about our age (early to mid twenties) and dressed like they just came from the club themselves... that is, before they decided to go in the bushes and fvck like bunnies (literally). He was putting a belt back on, and tucking in his shirt and she was pulling her pants up. It was so cute, it was the awkward blossoming of a young why-doesn't-he-call-me. They actually used the hood of our car to push themselves up off the ground. They were clearly very drunk. Human behavior is so fascinating to me. I mean, they were as close to us as a few feet when they were climbing up, and we weren't in the car yet, but neither of them looked any of us in the eye, nor did they look each other in the eye or touch each other for that matter. Not once.

As soon as we were in the car we laughed our frigging asses off. Not much funnier than awkward guilt-ridden, bush sex.