Poop Shute

Alpha Beta Delta

Last night I was at my favorite fast food restuarant, Chipotle, with my little brother when one of the funniest things I've ever seen came walking in the door.

The guy had to be about six foot three or four, with biceps as big as my thighs. He easily weighed a good 250 lbs of solid muscle. He was a very large, very buff mofo.

The reason I'm writing about him now is he was also one of the most arrogant pricks I've ever seen. Sometimes you can tell a lot about a person based on their carriage and their body language.

He swung the door open and came strutting through with this posture and this smug grin on his face that made me laugh out loud and nearly choke on my burrito. His walk was like the walk pimps used to do on 70's cop shows like Starsky and Hutch. With this I'm-so-great-that-I-own-all-of-you sweep of his eyes he surveyed the room as if to check to see if there were any other alphas that may wish to challenge his supremecy. Finding no takers he proceeded to the counter to order his dinner from the girl he clearly thought he was God's gift to.

As he left the counter he did another sweep of the room with his smug little grin as if to say to the room "That's right, I'm your daddy." This time he caught me looking at him with mirth in my eyes, but didn't seem to think I was worth the time. He's probably right. I mean how fun could it be to kick the ass of someone who is not only about half your size, but is also laughing at how rediculous a human being you are through the bloody nose?

And then as quickly as he had come, he left. Leaving me and Jon to ponder what makes a man into such an odious example of baser instincts.