Poop Shute

A Streak Comes To A Close

I often brag about getting wasted constantly in college and only suffering from one hangover ever. I also brag about that same occasion being the only time I ever threw up from alcohal. It also happens to be the only time I ever passed out while drunk.

One of these streaks came to end this past Saturday. But I'll get to that.

The one time from years past was a big mistake on my part. I mixed alcohal with rejection. It was 1999 and boy did we party like it was (Prince refrence). You see, I ran into an ex-girlfriend at a party and had begged said ex-girlfriend to take me back. She stood her ground and said no... primarily because I had been the one to dump her in the first place... but that is another story.

Anyway, she said no, so I returned to the party romantically maimed and set to work on drinking it all away. I walked around the room pounding every half empty cup I saw. A mouthful of beer here, a gulp of white russian there, a swig of a screwdriver. Then when the other people's leavings had been exhausted I hit the kitchen and proceeded to slam down Soporo, vodka, Tropico and whatever else I could get my mits on. Fastforward about forty minutes and I was sitting on the rim of the bathtub leaning over the toilet.

Picture this; you're sitting hunched-over on the rim of the tub with your head propped up in your hands and your elbows propped up on your knees. That is how I woke up the next morning. Every joint was stiff and aching from the comination of severe dehydration and sitting in the same position for several hours straight. My head and stomach hurt so bad and felt so gross I thought any second I might just spontaneously die from the grossness. Or maybe it was the pain... I dunno, the memory is hazy for that day.

Well, this last weekend (back to 2005) saw Joey wake up on Sunday feeling like somebody had played a nasty trick on him by secretly taking out his eyes and replacing them with new ones that were slightly too big for his sockets, and by replacing his stomach with a bowl of ants.

So ends my non-hangover streak. Generally I don't get them because I stay up until the buzz wears off and I drink a couple big classes of water and take a tylenol and a multi-vitamin ALL before going to sleep. I did everything except the vitamins and tylenol this time. I don't think that is what did it though. I think it might have been the unusually massive amount of booze I had that night before. Yeah, maybe that was it.