Poop Shute

Just when you thought it was safe to read historical fiction...

Those wacky catholics are at it again, folks. An italian cardinal has taken an official position on a new and terrifying issue. An issue so big, that he now fears that he has "sounded the alarm too late."

That's right I am, of course referring to the insidious and wicked volume of lies known as

THE DA VINCI CODE.
link goes to original article

That's right, they are apparently so insecure that they feel threatened by a book that is labeled a NOVEL. A NOVEL. And we all know that a novel is FICTION. I mean, at least, I think we all do, right?

Granted, author Dan Brown does present a number of nuggets o' truth in there. What I mean is, he shares with his readers some controversial theories about biblical stories that disagree with the official story that The Catholic Church subscribes to. Like the idea that Mary Magdalene was actually more of an important figure than the church would let on. Or the question of: why doesn't the church ever acknowledge the story of Adam's first wife, Lilith? These are theories that he did not make up himself, but are theories originally published in non-fiction books by historians.
Credible, educated historians.

What I find funny is we never hear the church going after these historians. I mean if you have credible, respected people claiming that these controversial things are possible, why not go after them? Why go after a some silly fiction writer?

The answer is simple. NOBODY READS HISTORY BOOKS in this day and age. As credible as some history professor and their PILES of research may be, your average joe won't ever read it. Maybe it will be read by a handful of thousands the world over. The church figures, "meh, those are people we don't want anyway. Let 'em go to hell"

But then you have some popular pulp novelist guy taking these dry, stuffy tales and giving it a voice that can be heard by inserting it as exposition into a wild and tense thriller, and UH-OH, people start reading it! Now the church says "oh sh*t, now we're losing the good ones!"

And the brilliant thing about all this too is that now that this guy has made this big fuss, and gotten his dumbass on The BBC NEWS WORLD EDITION all he has done is give Dan Brown and his book a LOT of free publicity. And just in time to give THE MOVIE some early buzz. This cardinal guy says he is acting alone too, and I believe him. I think the church as a whole took the more intelligent stance of ignoring it, and waiting for it to go away. And it would have too, hell, it still might. But not for a while now. Thanks to one loud-mouthed cardinal.