Poop Shute

London, The Trip Story That Wouldn't Die

Last night Miguel and I took down the bottle of absinthe I smuggled back from the U.K.

Sadly, I didn't smuggle back a big enough bottle.

We definately got really buzzed up, and this buzz came with an upbeat, tingling feeling. Anyone who has ever smoked weed knows that buzzy-tingle you get in your skin with the high... well, maybe that's just me, but absinthe did the same thing. Plus my vision was MILDLY affected. Now I know what the phrase MILD psychotropic means. Colors seemed more vivid, and mundane things seemed more interesting to look at, but no little green fairys or even vapor trails or anything.

I'm thinking I might look into obtaining my own wormwood plant.

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The second day I was in London we were in Leicester Square (pronounced Lester). There was a huge crowd and news trucks for what we found was the european premiere of WIll Smith's latest CG Action masturbation fest, I, Robot.

As we are crossing the open part of the square we are held up by a mini crowd that has formed around two guys signing autographs and shaking hands. I'm looking at these guys, and from what I've seen in the previews I'm pretty sure they are not in the movie, so I'm wondering who they are and why people want their autographs.

Both guys are black, one is huge, the other very small.

The small guy was wearing a bright neon green shirt and a baseball cap backwards. Nothing remarkable about him.

The huge guy was about six foot three inches tall, had to weigh about 300 pounds. He was wearing an army-green camouflaged outfit and a big load o' bling.

One of his necklaces in the Mr T-like pile around his neck had an oversized silver dogtag that said "MACK" spelled out in diamonds.

Right as I saw this, they started making there way to the scaffolding stage in one corner of the square.

Then it clicked in my head. I knew what Mack meant. I spoke out loud before I knew what I was saying.

"Oh, that's Jazz."

"What?" Meg asked.

"That's DJ Jazzy Jeff, and the big dude is Charlie Mack."

"Oh." pause. "Who's Charlie Mack?"

I smiled. "He's the first out the limo."

Anybody? Anybody? Does anybody else remember that song?

Back in the day Will Smith and his good friend DJ Jazzy Jeff used to make albums together. Their good friend and personal bodyguard was a huge dude named Charlie Mack. They wrote a song about him and the chorus went "He's Charlie Mack and he's the first out the limo."

Even though they aren't working together anymore he got them both to come to his movie preview IN EUROPE. That's a good friend.

A mediocre actor with questionable taste in scripts, but a good friend.