When I was but a wee lad I liked what most wee lads like: gross stuff.
Still do, in fact.
As a kid there were two things I prized above all others.
One was M.U.S.C.L.E. Men
Millions of Unusual Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere.
These weren't exactly gross, so my parents allowed them. Whether they approved or not, I don't know, but they let me have them.
The next one is where the gross comes in.
The other one was Garbage Pail Kids.
Pic is link to bigger version.
Oh yes, my friends. Those sick snotty-pukey-gooey spoofs on The Cabbage Patch Kids.
As a boy I would sneak over to the local convenience store to buy them whenever I had some spare cash.
Sadly, my parents would find them and throw them away.
These were NOT approved of, and not allowed, and as a consequence I was the only kid on my block to miss The GPK Movie.
Oh yes, there was a movie, and I wasn't allowed to see it. My parents even went so far as to tell this to all my friends' parents so I couldn't dupe them into taking me.
@$%#* Parents!
Years later, enter the glory that is Ebay.
Not only did I just buy myself a bootleg DVD of the movie, but I also bought the entire 5th series set in mint condition.
And I got it all for under $30.
Sometimes nostalgia can drive us to some silly things, but damn if those cards aren't hilarious.
I'm told the movie sucks anyway, but you know what; it feels good to break ridiculous rules from childhood.
I mean, come on, how many of you have ever had ice cream for breakfast since leaving your parents house just because you could?
I only did that one once, because that's not exactly healthy, but it felt good the one time.
So, I say seize the day! Run with scissors! Put all your eggs in just one basket, and then count all the chickens before they hatch! Mwa-ha! Stare that gift-horse right in the mouth and shout: "I'M MY OWN PERSON NOW, MOM AND DAD, AND I'LL DO WHATEVER I WANT."
Just don't make the same mistake I did: be sure it's his mouth.
Horses kick pretty damn hard.
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