Poop Shute

A Parade Today In The Land Of Poop

This reporter is please to bring you good tidings today regarding our very own Private Fred E Bear.

You might remember some weeks ago Fred was injured in Lord Knucklehead's misguided attempt at seizing control of the offices of our beloved Poop Shute Press. Upon gaining power over the Press he quickly ceded power back to me, the one and only reporter. Our gracious Lord Knucklehead, while benevolent and just and an eloquent speaker apparently has no aptitude for writing. (see issue 02/22/2004)

After weeks of steady recovery, Fred was checked out this morning at 8 am with a clean bill of health. He will, however, be in therapy for several years battling a new and crippling fear of t-ball bats.

Fred's close friend, and Commander in Chief, Lord Knucklehead, met him at the hospital doors for big cermonious presentation thingy. Our brave little Private Bear was given the Congressional Medal Of Poop, The Purple Poop, and was given a promotion to Lance Corporal.

There was much rejoicing in the streets of Japan, where Fred has a huge teen fan-base, as you can see from this picture.












Here in our very own Land Of Poop there was a glorious ticker-tape parade, followed by feasting, vomitting, and then an orgy in the classic Roman style.

Walls everywhere were plastered with posters like this one.

Poop Shute Press welcomes you home Corporal Fred E Bear. You've been missed.


**UPDATE**

This just in; our friend and valued ally Official Gurg has declared open war on the giant crab-thingys of Norwegia! As was the case is Europe during the start of WWI, it's plainly outlined in our treatise with The Gurg that if military action takes place between Gurg and... no, that if Norwegia threatens Quebec, and the Zombies are feeling irritable.... No, wait... it says that if The Gurg is not attacked by a man eating a sandwich IN Normwegia...

Who the hell wrote this thing?!?

In any case, our course of action is clear ladies and gentleman: Corporal Fred E. Bear and Private T-ball bat will be sent to the front lines to help Captain Gurg Frenzy in any way they can. Good luck boys, and godspeed!