Poop Shute

A bit of advice for would-be pushers and pimps out there.

My sleep "schedule" has been really problematic lately. I can't seem to fall asleep until about 6 to 8 am and then as a result I sleep until anywhere from noon to 3 pm. Imagine my great surprise when tonight I was tired at midnight and was fast asleep by about 12:30.

Ahhh. Sweet, strange, and funny dreams that involve me existing in the world of Harry Potter. My wand in hand, I battle Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters! Ha ha, take that you dirty-

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Several gunshots in rapid succession rip through the fabric of my dreams and yank me awake. It's 3 am, and I'm terrified for about thirty seconds, until I wake up enough to remember I'm a jaded ghetto-dweller. Then I'm very annoyed that some asshole had to wake me up for some illicit and most likely illegal reason.

So here's my advice to you idiots out there who feel the need to pack heat in urban America:

You're obviously doing something illegal to be out and around at 3am carrying a gun anyway. IF you are, indeed, doing something wrong, well then drawing attention to yourselves is probably not the greatest idea, right? So here's a novel idea: BUY A FUCKING SILENCER! I mean, you shelled out some dough in the first place for the piece, so why not spend a little extra to NOT get the cops called on you because your shots did NOT wake the neighbors?

In a way, I make a lot of sense. In another way, I'm very disturbed that I think this way. It just goes to show that smart people don't tend to end up criminals, I mean if they did, they probably wouldn't get caught. I know I wouldn't. But then again those smarts are the exact reason I don't need to resort to crime to begin with.