Friday, November 21, 2003

Once again I find myself here. That same dank smell. The same blank, bare walls staring back at me. This old familiar place. I hate this place.

Depression.

It's amazing how quickly you can sink to a new low. Just when you thought it couldn't get any lower the whole universe screams in unison at you. It screams two simple words:

THINK AGAIN

I find myself working a useless, meaningless job that pays even less than it fulfills. I find myself being mostly supported by my wonderful girlfriend. I say mostly, because I do pull in a little. A little. I find myself not appreciating this wonderful woman. I find myself lashing out at her. I find myself angry for no reason. I find myself saying I find myself, when maybe that's just it; I've lost myself.

Please. I beg you, whatever powers that be, please; I was on a path to where I wanted to be and now you've taken it all away. Made me doubt everything. Made me doubt if I have it in me to get to where I want, and even doubt what it is I want itself. Please, I beg you; let me find a new path now. Let me be upon that path when I wake up tomorrow. I say this not as a prayer to some ethereal being , but as an afirmation to myself. Please, asshole. Get your shit together.

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