Poop Shute

I've found the secret to life the universe and everything... at least from a male point of view.

Attractive women in large numbers could rule the world if they wanted. It's fortunate that most supermodels, who are not only attractive, but have the means to tantalize men all over the world with their beauty, are dumb as rocks.

Last night I had my arm twisted by five such women (one of which was my girlfriend, so I can say that with impunity). First they all want to go to Long Wong's for "one drink." Right, one drink. I wasn't really up for it, but I somehow went anyway. Damn women and their breasty wiles. So once there they bring out two bigass pitchers o' beer, and a mug for each of us. THey pour one in front of me, which I nurse for a bit.*

*Note to the reader: Joey is what is commonly known as hypoglycemic. For those of yo who arent' familiar it is a blood-sugar disorder where his body breaks down blood sugar faster than the average person, so he needs to eat more often.

During the nursing of this first beer I start to feel funny. I can't place it at first, but then with a righteous cheer, I identified the feeling; I AM DRUNK!

What?!? OH yeah, I haven't eaten in about four hours, so blood-sugar low = get drunk MUCH faster than normal. Damn. I didn't want to get drunk tonight. THat's when Meg and the other four ladies start discussing me and how fun I can be when I'm drunk. So as soon as I finished the first beer, and went to pee, I come back to find my mug magically full again. Okay. So I begin to nurse again. Then the ladies start chanting something I had never heard before. Now I HAVE heard people chant "CHUG, CHUG, CHUG."

But these ladies chanted "Chug MOTHERFUCKER" Okay. So I did. A second later there was another mug full of beer. CHugged. Then another. All told, I think I had four beers in about 20 minutes on a WAY empty stomach. Then Meg says I sing when I'm drunk. And Ashley asks if I sing any songs in Italian. Meg answers, yes for me. It's all down hill from there.

"Quando sono solo sogno lorizzonte mancan le parole. Si lo so che non c'e luce, in una stanza quando manca il sole. sei non ci sei tu con me."

It was probably horribly off-key. Meh.

THen the conversation turned, inevitably to sex, and certain people's lack thereof. Hearing these women discuss these things was pretty cool, but the two that I was most curious about didn't share. I respected that, and didn't prod, and the other ladies seemed too preoccupied with their own sex problems to notice.

All in all it was a good night. It might have been better... but, I'll leave that to your imaginations.